"T" is for "Tapiroid" [Metamorphosis Alpha Version]

Tapiroid

Number Usually Appearing:  1-3

Armor Class:  6

Movement (Yards / Turn):  12

Hit Dice:  6

Mutations:  Heightened Vision, Hemophilia, Illusion Generation, Mental Paralysis, Molecular Disruption, Repulsion Field Generation

Tapiroid (tapir):  This 5' tall, nocturnal biped travels in small family bands.  Being hemophiliacs, they are shy and secretive, and have evolved powerful mental mutations to avoid and deter conflict.

Tapiroids prefer heavily wooded environs, and often travel along lake and river bottoms to mask their travels.  Their prominent snouts can further elongate another 1-2' to serve as (rather clumsy) extra limbs, or makeshift snorkels.

"T" is for "Tapiroid" [Mutant Future Version]

Tapiroid

No. Enc.:  1d6
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  150' (50')
          Swim:  60' (20')
Armor Class:  6
Hit Dice:  7
Attacks:  1 (bite, or weapon)
Damage:  1d6, or by weapon
Save:  L7
Morale:  8
Hoard Class:  XIV
XP:  2,540

Tapiroids are nocturnal, 5' tall beings that live in small family bands.  Being hemophiliacs in the merciless Mutant Future, they are shy and secretive, and have evolved powerful mental mutations to avoid and deter conflict.  Each tapiroid has a WIL score of  10+1d6.

Tapiroids prefer heavily wooded environs, and often travel along lake and river bottoms to mask their travels.  Their prominent snouts can further elongate another 1-2' to serve as (rather clumsy) extra limbs, or makeshift snorkels.

Mutations:  Disintegration, Enhanced Vision (Night), Force Screen (Greater), Hemophilia [D], Mental Phantasm, Prehensile Tail (Modified)

"P" is for "Pinnipoid — Walrusoid" [Metamorphosis Alpha Version]

Pinnipoid — Walrusoid

Number Usually Appearing:  1-4

Armor Class:  4

Movement (Yards Per Melee Turn):  15

Hit Dice:  9

Mutations:  Genius (Military, Scientific), Speed Increase, Symbiotic Attachment

Pinnipoid—Walrusoid (walrus):  This hulking biped stands 7' tall and is resistant to cold and electricity.  Though dim of wit and clumsy (-2 to all relevant Mental Resistance and Dexterity rolls), walrusoids are savant-like masters of strategy, tactics, and technology, and improve scavenged weapons and/or fabricate them outright.  They are also preternaturally fast for their bulk, and attack twice per turn.

"P" is for "Pinnipoid — Walrusoid" [Mutant Future Version]

Pinnipoid — Walrusoid

No. Enc.:  2d4 (2d8)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  180' (90')
      —Swim:  240' (80')
Armor Class:  4
Hit Dice:  13
Attacks:  4 or 2 (2 gores and 2 fists, or weapon x2)
Damage:  2d6+1d6 / 2d6+1d6 / 1d10 +1d6 / 1d10 +1d6, or by weapon +1d6+4 / weapon +1d6+4
Save:  L13
Morale:  10
Hoard Class:  XXII
XP:  7,800

The bizarre walrusoids are living contradictions.

Their blubbery, hulking, clumsy frames belie amazing speed and finesse (which they cunningly reserve for combat, to the shock of their foes).  And though slow of wit, walrusoids are technological and tactical savants.  They craft masterful weapons that grant +4 damage, and use them to deadly effect in combat.  Walrusoids are relatively peaceful when left to their own devices, but often put their skills to use as mercenaries, weaponsmiths, and arms dealers.  None dare take advantage of their simple natures.

Walrusoids are immune to all cold- and electricity-based effects.

Mutations:  Atrophied Cerebellum [D], Intellectual Affinity (Martial, Tinkerer), Quickness, Parasitic Control

Mutants In The News — "Where Creatures Roam... Where Beasties Creep... Where Spooks Skulk, Shimmy, and Slink" Edition

Face front, True Believers!

We spectacular sages here in The Bullpen strongly suggest you start saving your shekels and simoleons, 'cuz you dare not skip our sense-shatteringly scarifying Shocktober issue of TALES TO FLABBERGAST!

This astonishing comic will have it all:  Adventure!  Danger!  Excitement!  Horror!  Intrigue!  Suspense!  Thrills!

Scripted by those sultans of stupefying storytelling, Jocular Justin and Alana "The Mama" Davis, and pencilled by none other than that grand guru of the gargantuan, Chris "The Wiz" Wisnia!

You simply must read this tremendous tale of trepidatious, tot-anic terror we just had to call, "The Power...and The Placenta!"

IT'S MUTANT MONSTER MATERNITY IN THE MIGHTY MARVEL MANNER!!!

Fantastically Freakish Flora

On his Facebook page, gamma-guy and all-around mutanto-master Jim Ward himself put up a link to a nifty vid.  It ties in nicely to the earlier update about Japanese plantlife that will destroy us all.

No, not this guy...but he WILL destroy you, too!

Click below.

You'll never look at post-apocalyptic plants the same way again!

Mutants In The News — "Supranatural Sprout Siege Of The Sinister Space Sakura!" Edition

Yahoo News reports that a cherry tree grown from a seed that journeyed through the cosmos to spend eight months on the International Space Station is not only growing at a startlingly rapid rate, but also flowering erratically.

Instead of taking the usual ten years to blossom, the space-sprig bloomed at a mere four.

And the potential explanation, you ask?  

Cosmic rays.

I'm pretty sure we know where this is heading....

An Overpowering Onslaught Of -OIDS

The awesome Metamorphosis Alpha Deluxe Reprint Kickstarter got me mulling over something that's always niggled / interested / irritated / something'd me when it comes to post-apocalyptic RPGs:

Sentient, bipedal critters with names that end in "-oid".  These are a select group of mutants indeed, as most intelligent ani-men lack that particular suffix.

—

Grandpappy game of them all, Metamorphosis Alpha 1e, set the precedent with four beast-oids:  bearoids, cougaroids, hawkoids, and wolfoids.  Each had pretty wonky mutations and defects.

Later editions reduced the number of -oids to one, with Amazing Engine:  Metamorphosis Alpha To Omega [semi-officially 2e] going with hawkoids, and 4e using wolfoids.

[I don't have 3e, so no clue what's in it.]

Wolfoid, 4e.  That Jim Holloway really rocks a werewolf.

—

Gamma World toned it down, too, featuring only hawkoids throughout most of the line. They appeared in editions 2nd through 5th, then got renamed as "terrorbirds" for 6th...and only showed up on the cover of 7th's Legion Of Gold supplement, without being in the text proper [that I could find, anyway].

Hawkoid, 2e-4e

5e (Alternity version)

6e (d20 version)

7e (D&D 4e version)

Man.  It's hilarious that there's clearly a go-to "hawkoid style".

—

But the game that REALLY brings the -oids is Mutant Future, with 9 separate entries.

[There are technically 13 -oids in the bestiary, but 3 are mutated humans, and 1 is a plant...so they don't count for my purposes.]

Accipitoid

Castoroid

I dunno if it was loving tribute, lack o' inspiration, sheer laziness, or some combo thereof, but MF brings the -oids like nothing before.  And they got fancied up in in the naming, going all Latin-y and such.

Sad to say, most are boring and lame, as their mutations lean towards the obvious.  Sure, they're mechanically accurate system-wise, but "real-world natural abilities" are less fun than "gonzo superpowers".

That's a flaw with Mutant Future monsters in general, actually.

—

Below is a list of -oids through the ages, with descriptions and changes between incarnations.  It's more for my reference than anything else, so thanks for humoring me.

All are intelligent, and possess manipulative paws.

Metamorphosis Alpha, 1e

• Bearoid:  12' tall; mutations: mental control, precognition, telepathy, teleportation; defects:  no resistance to gas-attacks or paralysis
• Cougaroid:  4-5' tall; immune to electricity, lasers, mental attacks, and paralysis; attraction odor, can't perceive robots [!]
• Hawkoid:  4' tall; fear generation, force field, levitation; constant appetite
• Wolfoid:  4' tall; immune to all energy attacks and contact poisons; radiation eyes, regeneration; no nerve endings

MA, 2e

• Hawkoid:  duality [lets you do 2 distinct things at once], plus same 3 as above

MA, 4e

• Wolfoid:  now 9' tall; immune to energy attacks and poisons; regenerates; loses radiation-vision and vulnerabilities

Gamma World, 2e & 3e

• Hawkoid:  fear generation, force field, levitation

GW, 4e

• Hawkoid:  duality makes a comeback, plus the same 3 above

GW, 5e

• Hawkoid:  duality, fear generation, force field; loses levitation

GW, 6e

• Hawkoid:  duality, levitation, force field; loses fear generation.  [Sheesh.  No clue why they screw with these dudes so much.]

Mutant Future, 1e & 2e

• Accipitoid (hawk):  complete wing development, increased sight
• Canisoid (dog):  control light waves, fragrance development, increased hearing
• Castoroid (beaver):  teleport
• Cockroachoid (like, duh):  immune to radiation, natural armor, metaconcert, sonic attack; males have 50% chance of additional 1d4 Mental Mutations
• Pantheroid—Leoid (lion):  density alteration (others), empathy
• Pantheroid—Tigrisoid (tiger):  damage turning, thermal vision, vampiric field
• Scuirinoid (squirrel):  neural telepathy
• Serpentoid (not even trying):  metamorph (into 8' snake), toxic weapon, thermal vision
• Suidoid (pig):  aberrant form (4 arms, lashing tail), increased sense (taste)

—

I think I'll whip up some -oids of my own in upcoming posts.  I've avoided them thusfar, but now it sounds fun.

Blame Metamorphosis Alpha being on the brain.

Megafoot Needs You!

The IndieGogo campaign for The Greatest Movie Of All Time draws to a close on April 6th.

Give them your lucre, people, so I can eventually stat this beastie for the Devastation Drive-In series!

The Guys Of Wrexus Are Upon You — Meet Mattress Mech!

Mattress Mech
Salesborg

Hit Dice:  25
Frame:  Armature
Locomotion:  Legs (Pair)
Manipulators:  Basic Hand (1), Claw (1)
Armor:  Neovulcanium (AC 2)
Sensors:  Nerve Web
Mental Programming:  Artificial Intelligence
Accessories:  AV Recorder, Holo-Screen, Self-Repair Unit, Universal Translator, Vocalizer
Weaponry:  See Below
XP:  25,000 (+ 4000 per additional weapon)

Description

In Ancient times, the Gallery Furniture business empire spread across the planet and The Colonies...and finding human salespeople wholly deficient (due to pesky "empathy" and the capacity to take "no" for an answer), The Powers That Be rolled out an army of unstoppable salesborgs.  These hulking, fission-fueled juggernauts of commerce possessed neural-nets and craggy flesh-faces cloned from company founder, Jim "Mattress Mack" McIngvale.  Sales skyrocketed.

In the Mutant Future, Mattress Mechs still prowl their ruined showrooms, single-mindedly intent on procuring tresspassers' currency in exchange for (overpriced, time-ravaged) furnishings.  Savvier models utilize holo-screens to appear human, engaging in snappy sales repartee before resorting to (literal) strong-arm tactics.  Insane models only bellow, "Gallery.  Furniture.  Will.  Save.  You.  Money.  You.  Have. Twenty.  Seconds.  To.  Comply!"

Mattress Mechs strike twice per round with fist (1d12 damage) and claw (2d10), but as the borgs were designed to juggle cumbersome objects with ease, they do 1d12+6d6 damage when attacking with sofas of opportunity.  And the more unhinged specimens have arrays of scavenged, self-installed weaponry....

Mattress Mechs clangorously plod after "customers" at 60' (20'), but hyper-hydraulics allow them to make standing horizontal leaps of 250' / vertical leaps of 100'.

Rumor has it that the original Gallery Furniture site, located mere miles in the doom-bayous south of Gunspoint, has a trove of pristine relics guaranteed to add style. luxury, and comfort to even the most bomb-blasted of bunkers...and the cryo-corpse of Mattress Mack himself!

Meatier Prototype Model

Metamorphosis Alpha Rises!

News broke at GaryCon today that Goodman Games is Kickstarter-ing a mega-super-deluxe oversized hardcover reprint of the original edition of Jim Ward's Metamorphosis Alpha.

And this is what they mean by "oversized".  Compare the new version with the original stapled booklet!

They're including a ton of mutastic extras, like long-lost magazine articles, new art, and new critters, plus a series of all-new modules (like the one by Michael Curtis below):

I've had the pleasure of playing MetAlpha at NTRPGCon under Jim Ward himself twice now (although the second game was damned frustrating, due to lily-livered players who cared more about a real-life prize than DOING EXCITING THINGS), and hope to make it a third at this year's show.  And not only do I like what Curtis does for Dungeon Crawl Classics, but he let me play the tyrannosaurus big-bad during another con game where my PC died early...so he's all right in my book. 

This project happily gets my money.  And they're already 10% funded, so go give 'em your lucre so I can get my shiny new toys!

Mutants In The News — "What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Hungrier" Edition

According to scientists in the journal PNAS (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America...or Miss Jackson is you're PNASTY!), the corn rootworm is developing not only a resistance, but an appetite, for the very bioengineered plant designed to kill it.

<1970sSteveMartin>And no one ever, Ever, EVER saw it coming.  It's a *total* surprise.</1970sSteveMartin>.

Given that three-quarters of the US corn crop is genetically-modified, the ramifications are terrifying.  Ravenous insects and mutated plants...just one more campaign origin for your Mutant Future game!

Wired has a reader-friendly article here.

"F" is for "Florapede"

Florapede

No. Enc.:  1 (1d3)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  120' (40')
Armor Class:  6
Hit Dice:  13
Attacks:  1 (bite)
Damage:  3d6
Save:  L7
Morale:  11
Hoard Class:  XIV
XP:  7,800

The horrid florapedes are 25'+ ambulatory plants that actively hunt living prey.  They mimic the coloration of surrounding plantlife, Surprising on a 1-5 on 1d6.  Florapedes cling to vertical surfaces and ceilings with ease.

As if their energy beams and life-sapping abilities weren't terrible enough, florapede bites inject Type 11 paralytic toxin...so as to devour their victims alive.

Florapedes reproduce via man-sized seedpods that contain 1d6 "eggs".  These seeds are considered a delicacy, and grant those that ingest them immunity to all toxins, poisons, and chemicals for 1 full month.

Mutations:  Chameleon Epidermis (Modified), Free Movement, Full Senses, Thermal Emissions, Toxic Weapon (Venom), Vampiric Field

Mutants In The News — "Pythocalypse 2014" Edition

It's been nine months since our spies reported on the twisted machinations of The Dread Serpent Empire.

We prayed that perhaps their warmongering schemes had gone as cold as the blood that pumps in their sinuous hearts.  Or maybe our allies-by-circumstance, The Ancient Noble Order Of Crocodilians, bravely routed their constricting forces with selfless suicide attacks.

But, friends...this newest dispatch fills us with primordial dread, for things are worse than we ever imagined...

...BECAUSE THE PYTHONS ARE WINNING!!!

Fearless photog Tiffany Corlis shared her top-secret pics with The Brisbane Times.  Click through for more flabbergasting images...IF YOU DARE.

—

Dismissing this encounter as run-of-the-mill, Australian-murder-beast antics is foolhardy.  We should probably just wall-off / incinerate / pave-over the python-infested Florida now.

Studies In Finkology

Here's some additional images for the Finkdaddy critter, posted last September.

Courtesy of our (unruly and unseemly) sister blog, The Haunted Spookshow Of Channel X!!!

Mutants In The News — "Death From Above" Edition

As if tool-using crocodilians weren't terrifying enough...the journal Herpetology Notes reports that (at least) five species can climb trees.

The beasts not only shimmy up leaning trunks, but scale vertical ones, too, to heights of over 30 feet.   And they can even go up brick walls!!!

The only consolation is their climbing prowess decreases as they grow in size.

Wow.  Just wow.

—

I dunno if anyone remembers Gamma World's Mutant Manual II article from Dragon Magazine #108 (wayyyyyy back in 1986)...

...but it featured a race of 7-inch-tall arboreal alligators known as screps.  

Screps were highly intelligent and gregarious, and possessed manipulative feet plus, and I quote, "tails...almost as prehensile as those of spider monkeys."

DRAGON PREDICTED THE FUTURE, Y'ALL.

"T" is for "Tar Devil"

Tar Devil

No. Enc.:  1d4 (1d4)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  60' (20')
      —Swim:  30' (10')
Armor Class:  5
Hit Dice:  5
Attacks:  3 (2 claws, 1 bite)
Damage:  1d8 / 1d8 / 2d8
Save:  L3
Morale:  10
Hoard Class:  None
XP:  950

The amphibious, ill-tempered tar devils are massive, quarter-ton fish that dwell in polluted pools and muddy pits.  When their territories dry out or run low on prey, the creatures drag themselves across open land to find more suitable environs.

Tar devils belch black globs of viscous goo that envelop targets and gunk-up high-tech artifacts.  Anyone struck (as if from a Ranged Attack) must make a Saving Throw Vs Stun. Success means that only the victim's person is affected, suffering a +4 AC penalty for 1d6 turns; failure indicates that not only is the victim hobbled, but all hand-held gadgets are rendered useless for 2d6 hours (the time taken to thoroughly clean them).

Tar devils posses exceptionally large brains, giving them a WIL of 16 to resist Mental Attacks.  And they are immune to toxins, chemicals, and radiation.

Mutations:  Toxic Weapon ("Sludge-Spittle")

"O" is for "Octosaw"

Octosaw

Hit Dice:  4
Frame:  Armature
Locomotion:  Legs (Multiple)
Manipulators:  None
Armor:  Alumisteel (AC 4)
Sensors:  Class II
Mental Programming:  Programming
Accessories:  AV Transmitter, Magnetic Feet
Weaponry:  Rotating Blade (2d6+1)
XP:  300

Octosaws are 3' long, battery-powered robots with blocky bodies, 2' chain-blades, and spindly, springy legs.  They attack in swarms of 2d4 units, and doggedly skitter after foes at a rate of 90' (30'), even along walls and ceilings.

Octosaws inflict 2d6+1 damage with each strike.  Anyone slashed suffers an additional 1d4 damage per round for 3 rounds from blood loss.

Too fragile for battlefield use and too loud for assassinations, The Ancients utilized octosaws in sadistic gameshows and penal bloodsports, or combinations thereof (like ¡Viva Texecution!:  The Lone Star Justice Hour).

Radioactive Review — 'Wisdom From The Wastelands #22: Personal Shields'

Boy, howdy, are the Skirmisher Publishing guys thorough.

Take Wisdom From The Wastelands #22:  Personal Shields.  When I think of "post-apocalyptic gaming" and "personal shielding", only one armored artifact comes to mind:

How Did I Miss This Game As A Kid?!!!

And there's certainly authoritative precedent to my line of thought.

'NUFF.  SAID.

What more does an irradiated, seven-limbed mutant need?

But, nope, bullet-riddled, rusty streetsigns aren't what author Chris Van Deelen has in mind.  He presents mass-produced force-fields "for individuals from all walks of life", from granny-grade that keep Nana dry as she checks the mail, to full-spectrum, all-impervious shielding worthy of space's greatest superhero.

Man, I Need To Stat Up His Gear And Enemies....

Well, except for radiation.  WFTW #22's shields don't protect against that.  Weird.  (I'm guessing that vulnerability is to ensure your mutant can grow that eighth limb in a radiation accident.)

Anyhow, there's almost a full page of charts that break the wide array of force-fields into types (civilian, security, military), Hit-Points-worth of protection, damage-resistance classes, rates of regeneration, power sources, battery durations, and weight.  [Random Note:  I have never used Encumbrance as a DM / GM / Mutant Lord.  Because I am lazy.]

Then come the modifications, like Electrical (stuns those who whomp the wielder) and One- / Multi-Sided (the user trades increased exposure risk for increased shielding HP) and generic damage-inflictors.

Of course there's a page of anti-gadgets, which drain / cancel everything mentioned previously. And the text wraps with rayguns that, naturally, phase through the aforementioned shielding.

—

This is a hard one to review.  

One one hand, it's got Van Deelen's trademarks:  amazing attention to detail, and consideration of damn near every gaming scenario (choice quote:  "[they] are not powerful enough to protect a user while swimming, or dealing with...moving through lava").

You Fool!  Didn't You Read The Supplement?!!!

Mutant Lord needs a force-field, you get force-fields out the cyclopean-chicken cloaca.

On the other hand, it's full of fiddly bits (and, I daresay, kinda padded), and REALLY ups the rules crunch.  I've commented before about how I was convinced the Skirmisher Gang were lifelong HERO System gamers (which they jovially denied), but WFTW #22 just adds more to my evidence.  There's.  So.  Much.  Stuff!

And on the third hand—you know, that stumpy one that grows from your mutant's neck—I'm rather uncomfortable with the fundamental concepts as they apply to (gamma) world-building.   These all-purpose shields have a ubiquitousness about them, like smartphones:  in the world of The Ancients, everybody's got a force-field, I guess.  That really ups the "science fantasy" to degrees that kinda offend my sensibilities.

Utterly irrational, I know.  Curmudgeonly, too.  And even hypocritical when it comes to my love of the genre, as blasters, robots, and battle-armor are fine, but portable super-screens are a problem?!

Eh, I'm a fuddyduddy.  In my day, all we had was stop-signs...and we LIKED it.

I Wouldn't Argue With Her If I Were You

Buy it here.