News You Can Ab(Use)!

 

A'SHARKALYPSE NOW!!!

  

Courtesy of today's The Daily Beast...

YET FORETOLD BY THE FLICK FROM 2023!!!

Mutants In The News — "It's The Heat *AND* The Humidity" Edition

This was already proven over forty years ago by esteemed climatologist Max Rockatansky and his colleagues, Drs Nightrider and Toecutter.  Hrmph.

Yet again, the future is gonna be terrrrible.  Worth the read over at NPR.

Mutants In The News — "Pythocalypse 2023" Edition

Dang.  Been ages since pythons have popped on my radar.  But, boy howdy, are they poppin'...

... as a world-record-sized snake was found not in its natural environs, but Florida.  Of course.

And downright insane for an invasive species.

CONSUME.

  

BEHOLD THE MAJESTY

IT LIVES AGAIN!!!

Give Unca Jack yer money (and tell 'im we sent ya)!!!

Mutants In The News — "ZOMBOARS!!!" Edition

Fascinating news on the xenotransplantation (such a fun word to type!) front, as pigs are yet again proven to be a wonderful, magical animal.

Bonus:  There's an additional link about how swine are aiding human love connections.

IT'S SWINE TIME, BABY!

Mutants In The News — "Isn't This What Caused '28 Days Later'?" Edition

I'm rummaging through Ancient boxes, and found this clipping from September 14, 1999.

Retro-news still counts, right?

Because there's all kinds of primate pandemonium possibilities here.  Maybe the phenomenon triggered...

...Y2APE?!!!

Mutants In The News — "Doc-In-A-(Big)-Box" Edition

NPR has a great article / podcast about the Strategic National Stockpile, those super-secret storehouses chock full o' medical machines, vaccines, and everything in between!

Each overstuffed site is apparently bigger than two Super Walmarts smashed together, with jumbo flags hanging from the ceilings.  You don't get much more American than that.

Just add renegade robots, killer fungi, and sentient cockroaches, and you have yourself a megadungeon just begging for a looting!

Mutants In The News — "See Ya Later, Alligator" Edition

For years, like some unhinged coot that warns strangers away from woodland cabins and summer camps, I've bellowed about the serpentine scourge afflicting Florida's swamps.

Turns out things are even worse than I prophesied, though, as it's been confirmed (via the awesome powers of SCIENCE!) that families of Nile crocodiles are inhabiting the region.

Yep.  The native alligator's bigger, meaner, deadlier cousins have taken up residence.

At this rate, there's really only one way The Everglades situaish can play out.  The Gods help us all!

Mutants In The News — "Everyone Needs More -OIDs!" Edition

There's new mutant minis afoot!

EffinCoolMinis has a new Kickstarter for Official Metamorphosis Alpha minis.

There are multiple tiers that include such mutalicious menaces as "Techno Terrors", "Human Survivors", "Anthro Aggressors", and "Mutant Monsters".

Metamorphosis Alpha creator Jim Ward himself will be writing an adventure and a bestiary for the project, too!

Have some prototypes!

Mr. Ward is an Official Friend Of The Field Guide, so I'm always happy to put money in his pocket.

(And there's even a pie chart of how the finances break down.  Licensing fees always interest me.)

Anyhow, give them some moolah.  Even if you don't need minis, a measly $10 still gets you both PDFs of Mr. Ward's scribblin's!

Mutants In The News — "(Nuclear) War On Drugs" Edition

Scientists at The University Of Texas Medical Branch At Galveston report that a new drug greatly increases the chances of survival from radiation exposure.

According to the journal article, a single injection of peptide drug TP508 (aka Chrysalin©—ask for it by name!!!) given within 24 hours counteracts the gastrointestinal toxicity associated with radiation exposure.

Yeah, yeah...it currently only works for mice, but give it time!

This is pretty snazzy, particularly as it applies to those supplies scavenged by PCs in radioactive ruins.

Mutants In The News — "Cuteness Poisoning (Almost Literally)" Edition

For once, it's China with terrifying / awesome serpent news, instead of the accursed swampscape that is Florida.

Behold, the huggliest and wuggliest deadly freak the world has ever seen!

Sometimes Ol' Lady Nature makes the SyFy Channel's job just too easy, y'all.

News report (or what passes for one) below!

Mutants In The News — "SyFy Movie Come To Life" Edition

Amazing footage of what it's really like in The Outback, where everything tries to straight-up murder everything else.

Mutations just make it better.

A Mutastic Weekend Of Gaming Goodness

Man.  What a weekend.

Just wrapped up 2015's North Texas RPG Con, and as always, it was a hoot AND a holler.

I'm pretty wiped after playing games from Wednesday to Sunday (OH, PITY ME!!!), so this'll be a meandering, down-n-dirty recap.

—

Wednesday involved dinner with Official Friend Of The Field Guide, The Abominable Dr. Causey, and his fetching (and not hunchbacked at all) assistant.  Sushi was consumed, and much catching up was done.  It's always great seeing The Doc, and it's a damned shame we live so far apart.  HE TOTALLY GETS ME!!!

(It is at this juncture that I must mention that Official Friend Of The Field Guide, Our Friendly Neighborhood Sniderman, was greatly missed!  Not the same without you, man!)

Afterwards, Mrs. Field Guide and I were supposed to go play in an AD&D tourney—you know, the kind that actually keeps track of points and such—but I kinda got sidetracked...

"Convention Acheivement Unlocked:  Sleeping On Hotel Lobby Couches"
(Totally The Wife's Joke!)

...by a verrrrrry comfortable leather sofa.  

In the hotel drinkery, no less.  

Yes, I am apparently That Guy that passes out in a bar...with a baby.  Freakin' shameful.

Mama played in the event, though, and her team ultimately came in 1st Place for the weekend.  I am an amazing hireling!

—

Thursday started off with some Grade-A, Old School Judges Guild insanity.

And by "insanity" I mean "how the in the hell did the designers expect eight 2nd-3rd level weaklings with hardly any spells, silver weapons, and / or magic items to survive this ridonkulously hard murder-module chock full o' ghouls, ghasts, lycanthropes, wights, gargoyles, and wraiths and ALSO Confusion traps that pit half the party against the other in bloodthirsty conflict?"

Yeah, yeah...I get that's how we rolled back in Ye Olden Dayes.  No whiners allowed.

But after seeing several PCs get level-drained to henchman status—and one of those then disintegrated into dust as they hit Level Negative One—I can say with battered-n-bloodied authority that some adventures are just garbage.  I mean, at one point, I was actually relieved that, while in the middle of an attack by ghouls and their hulked-out ghast boss that paralyzed over half the party, I fell into a concealed pit trap right in the middle of the conflict.

"Yay, this pit that almost killed me is the safest place in the mansion!"  

Utter nonsense, man.  Just nonsense.

(And to add to the worst-ness of it, the pre-gens had names like "Bernie Madoff" for the illusionist / thief and "Brother Mayhem" for the cleric...and there was both a Chaotic Evil assassin AND a Lawful Good paladin in the party.  UGH.)

Cool module cover, though (even if it's a tad shady).  I loves me some Oliver Reed werewolfery.

—

Thursday night was Ben Burns' annual Paranoia craziness.  That event always sells out instantly at registration, and the table's infectious laughter drowns out the entire hotel.

The parody is strong in that module.  So very, Very, VERY strong.

Depending on your druthers, that is either a bug or a feature.

I remain mum because I adore the GM in Real Life.

—

Friday morning was Dungeon Crawl Classics helmed by the ever-lovin' Doug Kovacs.

The adventure was called "The Drunken Wizard", but I have no recollection of actually meeting the title sorcerous lush, as...

a) my PC died halfway through, and 

b) things tend to go off the freakin' rails in Doug's games...AND IT'S ALWAYS \m/ METAL \m/ AND AMAZING!!!

See for yourself.  Here's a list of context-free quotes from the game:

) "Glenn Danzig has appeared in more 'DCC' games than anyone else alive."

) "I'm gonna pop a cap in the dog. I turn my crossbow sideways."

) "He comes up doing some intimidating moves."

"Wait--is this a dance-off?"

) "I shave his head and force him to join our gang.  He is now 'Skull Zero'."

) "You just Wilhelm Scream'd the dude off the building."

) *spits out a tooth* "You made me get blood on my pants."

) "Maybe there's *two* guys."

"Hmmm.  'Schrödinger's snitch'."

) "That dog obviously stabbed the guy."

) "I feel this job would go a whole lot better if we got some drugs."

) "I speak the secret language of dogs."

"You do?"

"Well, I *think* I do."

) "We need a montage."

) "I can cast a Stinking Cloud down the opium-hole."

"And then stop it up with their clothes!!!"

"Ah-ha!  Hotbox 'em out!"

) *kicking in a door* "LANKHMAR BUILDING INSPECTORS!!!!!!!!"

) "I'm gonna stab that guy with the hollow eyes.  I don't know what that shit means, but I don't trust it."

) "Did any opium come out of 'im?  Like a piñata?"

) "It's Skull Zero's wife."

) "He has that look that he has murdered people before."

) "Well, I could've yelled out, 'I'm here to touch your junk!'"

) "She's even more pissed off after she killed you."

"I have that effect on women."

) "You do realize that all our adventures end in fire?"

"It *does* seem to be a running theme." 

) "It's Skull Zero's daughter."

) "That's awesome.  You open a door, and The Doom From Space is there."

) "I'm gonna try to snort his rings."

) "I think that calls for another Drug Abuse Roll."

) "You get 'Saturn-sauce' all over your face."

) "So you take this as a cue that you should take a vacation from Lankhmar."

Seriously.  Before you die, play under Kovacs.  Bucket list that wit' a quickness.

—

Friday night was Swords & Wizardry.

Jennell Jaquays ran "Wet Nightmares", a revamped version of her "Night Of The Walking Wet" adventure.

She's just the sweetest, kindest, most mellow GM ever...but we played for five hours, and the first combat involved a ghoul.

A lone, solitary ghoul.  

For eight 6th Level PCs loaded down with stuff.

And it kicked our asses for far too many rounds.  Our dice suuuuuucked.

Combine the lackadaisical pacing with an obnoxious player who spent the first hour checking the walls, the furnishings, the garbage, the floors, the ceiling, the garbage again, and the walls again WHILE THE REST OF US WANTED TO GO THROUGH THE SECRET DOOR WE FOUND IN THE FIRST TEN MINUTES, the evening was a total slog.

And I still don't know where the "wet nightmares" came in, as the only moisture we encountered in those same five hours was a very short bridge over some liquid that had tentacles that tried to knock us over (but which totally failed, because they were so easy to bypass).

So no soggy dead at all. 

Just a single sloggy one.

Heh.

—

Saturday morning was a game I was TOTALLY geeking out over:  Top Secret...

...run by creator Merle Rasmussen himself, no less!!!

Man, what a game.

It was as if  your favorite, twinkling-eyed Grampa played cops & robbers cowboys & Indians spies & spooks with your ten-year-old-self on a lazy summer afternoon.

Our mission involved air-dropping by night into the desert camp of a mad sheikh who was subsidizing terrorism with sales of roboti-camels and avian-shaped drones of his own design.

And I played an assassin code named The Dazzler.  I ad-libbed, "I'm the assassin you DO see coming."

GLORIOUS.

—

Saturday night was a super-secret playtest of an upcoming Goodman Games product, Mutant Crawl Classics!  (Goodman formally announced the game at a panel Saturday morning, so we're free to gab.)

The Revealed Cover Art, by Doug Kovacs!

About time we get to the theme of this here blog, eh?

Writer Jim Wampler ran the event, and it was a blast.  The game plays pretty much like DCC, and hits all the same mechanical beats.

Here's some Things Of Interest to those of you out there of a post-apocalyptic bent:

• The PC races are Pure Strain Humans, Humanoids, Manimals, and Plantients; as in DCC, all are determined at random in char-gen.
• Unlike early editions of Gamma World, there is no ambiguity when it comes to Mutant Animal PCs and the base abilities thereof:  you walk upright, have manipulating digits, and can talk.
• You don't get any mutations until after surviving The Funnel The Rite Of Passage; Level 1 is when you get funky random powers, and they're all uniquely flavored and flavor-ly unique like DCC wizard spells.
• The world isn't post-apocalyptic earth; no, it's a super-weird mystery planet loaded with megafauna and bizarre ruins and weird topography and alien botany and nothing "recognizable".
• That means no traditional 1980s tech at all as artifacts; instead of broken boomboxes, you'll find eggs that shoot sleep-inducing hologram-snakes and self-shrinking, sequined togas that turn you into phase-phantoms and whatnot.
• Artifacts are figgered out via a truncated James Ward-ian flowchart, and you can roll options like "Needs To Activate And Use X More Times To Attain Mastery" and "Competent Enough To Train Others In Artifact's Use" and such; seemed elegant in play, and not anywhere near as obnoxious as other rules systems...like Gamma World.

The game, called "Museum At The End Of Time", was a blast.  My three morts—Trebek the PSH, Sajack the Eagle, and Wink the Yak—made daggers out of the teeth of a fossilized dinosaur skull and we all made it to the end of the adventure.  As everyone was exhausted, though, nobody went through the leveling process to get mutations.

Sadness!

—

Sunday was more mutant mayhem, with the highlight of any NTRPGCon, Steve Winter's Gamma World game!

He always runs 1st Edition, and you roll up your characters randomly at the table.  No pre-gens here!  Winter ensures we end up with a mad mix of mutant goofery.

This year's adventure...

...involved an underwater hex-crawly foray into the radioactive depths to determine the source of mysterious "Hubbard Rays" that were bathing the landscape.

We met just the nicest and most polite carnivorous electric eels that needed slaughterin' before exploring the sunken ruins, but the adventure took a wholly unexpected turn upon encountering some land-crawling whitefish that were rivals with some wholly-aquatic striped bass.

One teenage whitefish boy in particular happened to be smitten with a bass-lass, but their respective parents didn't approve of their relationship!  So we radiation-hardened mercenaries had to arrange a secret romantic rendezvous for the youngsters AND appease their parents AND teach the boy that his race could breathe under water the entire time, but they had just been too scared and too bigoted to ever try in the first place!

So, in a nutshell, our adventure was essentially this:

MAJESTY!!!

—

That's all I can recall at the moment.  It was a whirlwind of games and friends and good times.

Oh!  This also happened

Those are the signatures of Michael Curtis and The Aforementioned Kovacs, dudes instrumental in getting Metamorphosis Alpha back out in the wild for new generations of gamers.  (Sadly, author Ward had to cancel his con appearance.  Get well soon, Jim!)

I have two copies, and they generously added some pizzazz to the tomes.

Man.  I really need to review the newest incarnation of the classic Metamorphosis Alpha.  I'm lonnnnnnnng overdue.

—

I'm wiped.  Thanks for reading.

Mutants In The News — "Fire Burn, And Cauldron Bubble" Edition

This is sooooooo very cool.

UK Scientists have re-created a millennium-old recipe from Bald's Leechbook (a leatherbound, Old English collection of unguents reputed to be one of the earliest-known medical tomes) that seemingly eliminates that modern super-scourge, MRSA.

The concoction calls for garlic, onions (or leeks), wine, and bovine bile to be boiled in a brass vessel, then left to stand for nine days before being strained through a cloth.  I'm sure "during an eclipse" and "while chewing dandelions plucked from a bishop's grave" are in the mix somewhere.

—

Just think what this means for denizens of the Mutant Future.  Thee Olde Wayes (am I doing that right?) just may contain the secrets for combating bioweapons and hyper-germs!

Mutants In The News — "...And Old, Old, Old, Freakin' OLD Lace" Edition

Our impending future overrun by super-mutants grows ever closer, as scientists just discovered a population in the Andes Mountains that has acclimated to high concentrations of environmental arsenic.  This is the first documented instance of human adaptation to a toxic substance.

The village's drinking water contains around 20 times more arsenic than what is considered safe.  Apparently, the residents metabolize arsenic not only faster than most people, but also convert it into a less deadly form.

Mummies from the region—dating between 4,000 and 7,000 years old—also have high levels of the hazardous metal, indicating the development of the natives' resistance has been a long-term process.

The original journal article is here.

Neat.  Just neat.

Party At Ground Zero

Thanks to NukeMap, you can simulate nuclear detonations—plus the requisite damage, fallout, and casualties!—on your favorite cities.

Here's what happens when you drop a 20 kiloton "Fat Man" on downtown Houston, TX.

Hours of fun for the whole family!

Mutants In The News — "Your Body Is A Temple...A Disgusting, Filthy Temple" Edition

In a fascinating research study, scientists are mapping the microbial ecosystems of the New York City subway system.  The results are mindboggling, and involve snazzy tidbits like Antarctic germs and fish DNA and bubonic plague and the bacterial powers of pizza and hummus.

Related (and lazily truncated) news popped up over the last week about the study, focusing on "50% unidentified material" and CHUD jokes and such.  But the whole thing is worth a read, as is the Cell journal article.

Seriously.  It's totally cool.

Mutants In The News — "Mo' 'Squitos, Mo' Problems" Edition

To combat the dengue fever and chikungunya viruses, the FDA is considering the release of millions of genetically-modified mosquitos (made by your friends at Oxitec!) into Florida swamplands.  The modified critters—all males—carry a "suicide gene" and will theoretically mate and pass on the same trait to their offspring, thereby eliminating huge chunks of the blood-sucking population.

While successfully tested in other countries, the FDA option is under heavy scrutiny, with many headlines clearly going for the hysteria angle.

If only there were some way to release mosquitos that feed on pythons....

And what a great origin concept for Gamma World's own soul besh, aka "skeeters"!

Mutants In The News — "#2 On 'The Plagues Of Egypt Hit Parade'" Edition

Tap, tap, tap.  Is this thing on?

—

Researchers have discovered a unique species of fanged frog—yep, fanged frog!—that not only utilizes internal fertilization ("doesn't lay eggs"), but also gives birth to live young.

There are three awesome mutastic things right there in that very sentence!

—

Will resume with the regular radioactivity soon-ish.

Home Mutant Future campaign turning weird (looks like half the party is going to (pretty deservedly, truth be told) take out the other half) + Halloween burnout + holly, jolly holidaze + Savage Worlds diversions = distracted me.  And, oh, yeah...that whole newborn thang.

Ugh—whining about stuff-not-done is a cardinal writing sin.  My bad, blog-bros!