It's been nine months since our spies reported on the twisted machinations of The Dread Serpent Empire.
We prayed that perhaps their warmongering schemes had gone as cold as the blood that pumps in their sinuous hearts. Or maybe our allies-by-circumstance, The Ancient Noble Order Of Crocodilians, bravely routed their constricting forces with selfless suicide attacks.
But, friends...this newest dispatch fills us with primordial dread, for things are worse than we ever imagined...
...BECAUSE THE PYTHONS ARE WINNING!!!
Fearless photog Tiffany Corlis shared her top-secret pics with The Brisbane Times. Click through for more flabbergasting images...IF YOU DARE.
Dismissing this encounter as run-of-the-mill, Australian-murder-beast antics is foolhardy. We should probably just wall-off / incinerate / pave-over the python-infested Florida now.