Thursday, December 20, 2012

Naughty, Nice...It's All Relative. Now Where's The Damned Presents?

I've had a hoot AND a holler participating in my fellow blog-nards assorted shindigs, soirees, and shenanigans this holiday season.  The raw creativity on display has been humbling, exciting, and downright rejuvenating.

And while the Secret Santicore 2012 event hit some (totally justifiable and lamentable) snags, I'd like to put my gift out there, in hopes that someone gets some use out of it.  It's not much...but, well, it was made with love.  And isn't that what the season is all about?  *snort, cough, guffaw*

Here was my assignment, verbatim:

[Create] Either an encounter (monster or group of monsters) or a random encounter table for bronze-age astronauts travelling through space in some kind of primitive vessel.

Being a big-honking comic book guy of retro-stylings and sensibilities, the words "bronze age" instinctively conjured twisted visions of Jack Kirby and Marvel Horror and Gold Key Insanity...but then I realized it meant something else entirely.  Less spandex, more loincloths.

And so I present my, um, present in a format shamelessly ripped off from one of my absolutely favorite blogs.  I hope someone can get some Carcosan or Encounter Critical-ish or Mutant Future-y or Flailsnails-ian use from it.

Bronze-Age Astronauts...In Space!!! Encounter Table
d12  Encounter
Rocky maze-steroid infested with mutated mechano-minotaurs
Funerary rocket-barge carrying souls of wrongly-demolished droids to The Land Of The Deactive     
Star-sphinx sentry singing "Riddles Of The Spheres"
Despondent constellation-golem seeking companionship...but preferably a mate
Convoy of automated mining-chariots shuttling moon-copper into black hole
Drifting laser-ziggurat of the conquering gas giant, Vituprex The Vaporous
Debauched robo-revel of the quasar-druids at Space-Henge
Be-feathered jag-warbots pillaging in the name of Mecha-Zuma, Emperor Of The Azmeks
Jeweled comets pushed by sky-scarabs
10 Beguiling pulsar-sirens and nebula-nymphs offering hospitality and delights at Saturn-ringed oasis
11 Muntinous quarantine-ship overrun by anguished prisoners afflicted with infectious sunspots
12 Freshly-hatched larval planets seeking blood-sustenance