Mutants In The News — Nightmare Fuel Edition

I can't tell if the addition of the word "Swedish" makes the following headline more or less terrifying:

"Swedish Insect Shoots Larvae Into Victims' Eyes."

AIEEEEEEEEE.

"B" is for "Bearcuda"

Bearcuda

No. Enc.:  1d4+1 (1d8+2)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  120' (40')
      —Swim:  60' (20')
Armor Class:  6
Hit Dice:  5
Attacks:  4 (2 claws, 2 bites)
Damage:  1d6 / 1d6 / 1d10 / 1d10
Save:  L3
Morale:  9
Hoard Class:  VII, VIII
XP:  650

Equally at home on land or submerged, bearcudas are scaly, toothy carnivores that never stray far from bodies of fresh water.  They make their lairs in burrows or underwater caves, and sometimes find their way into cavern complexes or ruins.  They stand 3'-4' at the shoulder, reach lengths between 5'-7', and weigh around 450-600 pounds.  Unlike most ursines, bearcudas have difficulty standing up on their hind legs.

Bearcudas attack with surprising speed, and are able to accelerate in short bursts, bumping their land movement rate to 180' (60') and swimming rate to 120' (30') for up to 3 consecutive rounds once per turn.  And during those 3 rounds, the creatures get a +1 To Hit bonus for each attack.

They are always encountered in familial groups (called a "battery"), consisting of pairs of mated adults and their offspring.  For every 2 adult bearcudas, there will be at least 1 cub.

Mutations:  Aberrant Form (Gills and Lungs)

Brand Names, Brand Identity

In the Mutant Future, baby-naming books have long turned to ash.  So how do proud, post-apocalyptic parents-to-be go about naming their little radioactive bundles of tentacular joy?

They dig through the rubble and ruins to find junk, artifacts, trash, and signage with the snazziest, jazziest labels and logos on them, that's how.

So here's some charts with random first and last names.  Roll away, or mix and match to taste.  Tweak the spellings as desired (and some are already altered below).

—

First Names

1. Alka
2. Amway
3. Arby
4. Brawndo
5. Calgon
6. Chee-Toh
7. Draino
8. Exxon
9. Faygo
10. Jeep
11. Kellogg
12. Manwich
13. McRib
14. Mel-O
15. Nextel
16. Quizno
17. Reebok
18. Rolex
19. Shiner
20. Trojan

Last Names

1. Audi
2. Bacardi
3. Boy-R-D
4. Coke
5. Colgate
6. Del-Monty
7. Dentyne
8. Fanta
9. Funyun
10. Google
11. Honda
12. Jolt
13. Kodak
14. Kroger
15. Nissan
16. Pibb
17. Pringle
18. Snapple
19. Supreme
20. Yel-O

Mush Pot

1. Atari
2. Avon
3. Bose
4. Duracell
5. Eebay
6. Folger
7. Hershey
8. I-Max
9. I-Pod
10. Jheri
11. Kotex
12. Lego
13. Noxema
14. Sansabelt
15. Shasta
16. Slimjim
17. Twizzler
18. Whopper
19. Zenith
20. Zima

—

You can guarantee that my players in the upcoming Don't Mess With Wrexus campaign will encounter an Exxon Honda, a Jeep Supreme, a Manwich Snapple, a Reebok Bacardi, and a Quizno Pibb, whoever they happen to be.

(Special thanks to Idiocracy.)

—

UPDATE:  The above lists have been expanded here.

"S" is for "Slaguar"

Slaguar

No. Enc.:  1d4 (1d4)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  150' (50') 
Armor Class:  3
Hit Dice:  5
Attacks:  3 (2 claws, 1 bite)
Damage:  1d4+2 / 1d4+2 / 1d8+2
Save:  L5
Morale:  10
Hoard Class:  V, VII
XP:  1,100

Slaguars are 4' tall, 750-pound felines that stalk mountainous badlands and urban ruins.  Instead of conventional pelts, their bodies are coated with fine iron filaments.  White-hot molten saliva drips from their jaws.

Slaguar teeth and claws are made of piercing alloys that radiate intense heat; consequently, the beasts get +2 To Hit and +2 Damage with all melee attack rolls.  And 3 times per day, a slaguar can exhale a cone of molten metal 15' long and 10' wide at its end.  All targets successfully struck take 2d6 damage per round for 1d6+1 rounds, and they are also entombed in a metallic shell and considered Paralyzed for 1d4 turns (or until making a successful Ability Check Versus Strength, which can be made once every turn).

The beasts feed upon meat and metal, and find Androids to be particularly tasty.  As they compete for the same food sources, slaguars and chromodos are natural enemies.

Mutations:  Energy-Retaining Cell Structure (Heat), Frailty (Cold) [D], Frailty (Electricity) [D], Reflective Epidermis (Heat), Unique Mutation ("Molten Breath")

"S" is for "Sluggernaut"

Sluggernaut

No. Enc.:  1 (1d3)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  45' (15') 
Armor Class:  9
Hit Dice:  16
Attacks:  1 (bite or trample)
Damage:  2d12 or 4d10
Save:  L8
Morale:  9
Hoard Class:  None
XP:  3,300

Sluggernauts are slime-dripping behemoths that reach heights over 20', lengths over 40', and weights in over 10 tons.  They favor open grasslands and expansive wetlands in order to graze on plant matter, carrion, and offal, but they sometimes slither into underground cavern complexes.

Thanks to their thick, resilient hides, sluggernauts only take half damage from conventional melee weapons and firearms.  And their four eyestalks grant 360-degree vision, meaning they're only Surprised only on a roll of 1 on 1d6. 

While relatively docile, sluggernauts bite with toothy maws or Trample with their prodigious bulk when threatened.  And warlike tribes train them for use as relentless (albiet ponderously slow) combat mounts, strapping massive howdahs—equipped with ballistae and cannons—onto their backsides.

Any given sluggernaut has a 25% chance of possessing the Dermal Poison Slime Physical Mutation, with the effect class determined at random.

Mutations:  None

"P" is for "Prowlasite"

Prowlasite

No. Enc.:  1d6 (2d6)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  120' (40') 
Armor Class:  7
Hit Dice:  2+3
Attacks:  3
Damage:  1d3 / 1d3 / 1d6 + drain
Save:  L2
Morale:  10
Hoard Class:  None
XP:  59

Slimy and pungent, the horrid prowlasites stalk swamps, forests, caves, and Ancient ruins.  They are similar in size and build to Ancient hounds, and their hairless, rubbery skin comes in a variety of unpleasant hues.  They continually make a slurping, suckling sound that is the stuff of nightmares.

Prowlasites hunt in packs, and attack by pouncing on victims with claws and razored fangs.  With a successful bite attack, a prowlasite latches onto its prey, doing automatic gnawing damage each round plus an additional 1d4 blood-drain damage until it or the victim is dead.  After feeding, all that's left of a prowlasite's meal is a mound of bones bound by loose skin.

Saliva continually drips from their maws, and contains a numbing agent so strong that anyone bitten by a prowlasite has a 20% of contracting the Pain Insensitivity Drawback.  This saliva is highly valued for medicinal purposes.

Mutations:  None

"X" is for "Xottle"

Xottle  ("Swamp Gobbler")

No. Enc.:  1d12 (4d12)
Alignment:  Chaotic
Movement:  105' (35')
     —Swim:  90' (30')
Armor Class:  7
Hit Dice:  1
Attacks:  1 (bite, or weapon)
Damage:  1d4, or by weapon
Save:  L1
Morale:  7
Hoard Class:  II, VIII, XIII
XP:  16

Xottles are a savage race of pink, 3' tall amphibians with ravenous appetites and nasty temperaments.  They build ramshackle dwellings in wetlands and humid caves, and on the bottoms of lakes.  Xottles tend to despoil their environs with their gluttony, and having no agriculture or industry of their own, they raid the settlements of other sentients for food and supplies.

They attack with spears, tridents, clubs, and nets, and fashion traps (often poisoned) to bring down larger game.  Hunting parties wear hand-carved masks to better terrorize their foes, and such masks give Xottles +1 to their Morale, and reduce opponents' Morale by -1.

Xottle communities are ruled by the larger members of their race.  Xottle shamans have 2 HD and 1 beneficial Physical or Mental Mutation, and chieftans possess 3 HD and 1d3 beneficial Mutations.

Mutations:  Aberrant Form (Gills and Lungs)

Don't Mess With Wrexus

I draw ever closer to starting up my Mutant Future campaign, as I now have two PCs ready to go:  Penny The Craw, and a sixteen-foot tall turtle with heat-breath and some serious health woes named Grabthar (who goes by "Sniffles").

And no campaign is complete without a map...and here it is, courtesy of the guys at Hexographer.

Welcome to Gone-Woe, Wrexus.

Danger surrounds the small town of Gone-Woe and its sister village Walled Den, home of The Craw.

To the north lies Huntsvile, a barren land overrun with machines of Living Metal that stalk and trap human and mutant alike.  What hideous fate ultimately befalls their captives...?

In the northeast, the desperate, degenerate community of Grieveland is dying.  Will the rivalry between Grieveland and Gone-Woe finally come to bloodshed...?

The broken Woe-5 road leads to The Queen's Wood, the domain of the savage and mysterious Queen and her legions.  The time draws near when she expects her annual tribute, and her ever-increasing, ever-unreasonable demands may be unattainable this year....  And not far is the blighted, twisted Fearbrook, rumored to hide a graveyard of flying machines....

Braving The Wooded Lands down The Eye-45 road and across the Sandy Jack River leads to dangers unimaginable, like Woebrook to the southwest and the frontier town-slash-fortress known as Gunspoint to the south.  Travel to Gunspoint is forbidden by The Elders of Gone-Woe, but every young mutant longs to glimpse its fabled wonders....

And beyond that last bastion of civilization lies the sprawling ruins of Hugeston...and The Firesea...and Fangleton...and Fearlake (home of the NASTAR spaceport)...and the waterlogged spires of Graveston....

Watch out, players...the eyes of Wrexus are upon you!

"B" is for "Brawlrus"

Brawlrus

No. Enc.:  1d2 (1d6)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  60' (20') 
Armor Class:  7
Hit Dice:  10+1
Attacks:  5 (4 punches, 1 bite)
Damage:  1d8 / 1d8 / 1d8 / 1d8 / 1d6
Save:  L5
Morale:  11
Hoard Class:  VIII, IX, XIII
XP:  2,400

Brawlruses are enormous beasts that reach lengths of 15' long, and weights between 3-4 tons.  They stand 6' tall at the shoulder thanks to 2 powerful, flippered "legs" used for support and locomotion, and 4 muscular arms ending in bony-spurred paws sprout from their torsos.  Highly adaptable, brawlruses can be found in any climate and terrain.  They'll eat anything within reach.

A brawlrus is direct and brutal in combat, as it unleashes a flurry of savage blows until its opponent is battered and broken.  And if at least 2 paws strike successfully in a round, the creature can squeeze for an additional 2d10 damage.  Anyone squeezed in this fashion must make a Saving Throw Versus Stun or be Stunned for 1d4 rounds afterwards.

There is anecdotal evidence that brawlruses may be evolving intelligence, as some witnesses swear they've seen the creatures plod along on wheeled platforms, propelling themselves with their flippers.  If they exist, the speed and specifications of these contraptions is unknown.

Mutations:  Aberrant Form (Multiple Limbs)

"S" is for "Scrawler"

Scrawler ("Doodlethug")

No. Enc.:  1d4 (1d12)
Alignment:  Neutral / Chaotic
Movement:  120' (40')
Armor Class:  4
Hit Dice:  7+2
Attacks:  3 (2 claws, 1 bite)
Damage:  1d6 / 1d6 / 1d8
Save:  L5
Morale:  9
Hoard Class:  VIII, XVI
XP:  900

Scrawlers are man-sized, cyclopean arachnoids with thick, multihued exoskeletons.  Each is distinct in markings and coloration.  The creatures have 4 legs and 4 arms, with 2 of their upper limbs ending in unique ink-producing organs.

Ambush predators, scrawlers nest exclusively in Ancient ruins, particularly those that attract explorers and scavengers—derelict shopping centers, warehouses, factories, tractor-trailers, etc.  Using their ink-glands, they work in groups to cover their territories with glyphs that mimic Ancient iconography.  Scrawlers don't seem to comprehend what the symbols mean, yet recognize that adventurers are drawn to such images.

While scrawlers seem to indiscriminately mark their hunting grounds without a cohesive "theme", each nest apparently uses certain symbols more than others.  Perhaps that is how different groups identify themselves to their own kind.

In combat, scrawlers try to blind opponents with a conical spray of ink (15' long, 10' wide at the end) before attacking with claws and jaws.  Anyone caught within the discharged ink is Blinded for 3d4 rounds on a failed Saving Throw Versus Poison.

All attempts at communication with scrawlers have failed, and scholars debate whether the creatures are mindless drones capable only of rote mimicry, or actually sinisterly sentient.

Mutations:  Toxic Weapon ("Ink Spray")

"S" is for "Stinguin"

Stinguin

No. Enc.:  3d6 (6d6)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  90' (30') 
Armor Class:  6
Hit Dice:   2
Attacks:  2 (1 bite, 1 sting)
Damage:  1d4 / 1d6+1 + poison
Save:  L1 
Morale:  10
Hoard Class:  XI
XP:  47

Stinguins are horrid little beasts that nest in cold, dank environs—cavern complexes, abandoned sewers, subterranean ruins, etc.  They are covered with greasy feathers, and stand between 1.5'-2' tall on 8 chitinous legs.  Their long tails end in menacing barbs that inject a Class 5 poison.

When hunting or defending their lairs, stinguins swarm over foes, tearing and stabbing until the threat is killed.  They scuttle up vertical surfaces and ceilings with ease.

Their multiple compound eyes give them almost 360-degree vision, so stinguins are Surprised only on a roll of 1 on 1d6.

Mutations:  Toxic Weapon (Venom)

"S" is for "Skyder"

Skyder

No. Enc.:  0 (1d6)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  18' (6')
         —Fly:  75' (25')
Armor Class:  4 (9)
Hit Dice:  5
Attacks:  1d8+1 (up to 8 claws, 1 bite)
Damage:  1d4 per claw / 1d10
Save:  L3
Morale:  9
Hoard Class:  None
XP:  650

Skyders are nightmarish, arachnoid horrors that reach lengths of 8'-10' long.  They possess the typical furry bodies, 8 limbs, and multiple eyes on their heads...but also bloated, distended abdomens filled with helium, fanged maws, and extra eyes (at least 3d6) along their underbellies.  Skyders are never Surprised.

The creatures float lazily through the air, scanning the ground for prey.  When a suitable target is located, a skyder descends and attacks in a flurry of grasping claws.   If at least 3 claws successfully hit, the skyder has grappled its prey, and can bite freely each round without the need for a To Hit roll.  It then tries to float upwards into the atmosphere to devour its victim at leisure.  One can break a skyder's grip with a successful Ability Check Versus Strength [per p. 51 of the Mutant Future Core Rules]; however, the consequential falling damage could be just as deadly as the beast's jaws.

By day, skyders are light blue with "cloud-like" markings, and such camoflage means they Surprise victims on a 1-4 on 1d6.  At night, they shift to a dark hue with light spots, allowing them to Surprise on a 1-5 on 1d6.

Skyders are ungainly and clumsy on land (primarily because they're struggling to keep from floating away), so their Armor Class becomes 9 when grounded.

Mutations:  Chameleon Epidermis (Limited), Increased Sense (Vision)

"H" is for "Howligator"

Howligator

No. Enc.:  2d6 (3d6)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  180' (60')
Armor Class:  4
Hit Dice:  3+1
Attacks:  1 (bite)
Damage:  1d8
Save:  L2
Morale:  9
Hoard Class:  None
XP:  170

Howligators are carnivorous pack hunters encountered in all but the coldest climes.  They are similar in size and build to Ancient canines, and exhibit almost identical social and predatory behaviors.

A howligator's distinctive vocalization—a gutteral, resonant bellow—makes herd animals and mounts panic.  Any such creature within a 2 mile radius of a baying howligator suffers a -2 penalty to Morale.

Howligator pups can be raised as hunting animals and guards.  That said, most howligator breeders and trainers are Mutant Humans blessed with multiple limbs and/or regeneration-based mutations, as they tend to lose many digits (or worse) in the process.

Mutations:  Increased Sense (Hearing), Increased Sense (Smell)

"V" is for "Vapir"

Vapir

No. Enc.:  0 (1d4)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  120' (40')
Armor Class:  4
Hit Dice:  4+2
Attacks:  1 (bite)
Damage:  1d6
Save:  L5
Morale:  6
Hoard Class:  None
XP:  440

Dwelling in forests, jungles, and swamps, vapirs are hefty browsing animals with short, prehensile snouts.  They stand around 4' tall at the shoulder, reach lengths of 6'-7', and weigh between 600-800 pounds.

Vapirs are continually blanketed by billowing green mists which cause all melee attacks directed their way to suffer a -2 To Hit penalty, and all ranged attacks to suffer a -4 To Hit penalty.  And once every 4 rounds, a vapir can exhale a cloud of gas 20' in diameter with the following random colors and effects [roll 1d6]:

1) Debilitating Gas (orange, Class 1-8 poison [determined randomly by rolling 1d8])
2) Hallucinogenic Gas (purple, causes Confusion for 1d10 rounds with failed Saving Throw Versus Poison)
3) Corrosive Gas (red, causes continual 3d4 damage per round [may optionally include damage against equipment and possessions] for 1d4+1 rounds, with no Save allowed)
4) Obscurring Gas (black, induces Blindness and loss of olfactory senses for 1d6+1 rounds with failed Saving Throw Versus Poison)
5) Narcotic Gas (blue, Class 9 Sleep poison)
6) Nerve Gas (yellow, Class 12-20 poison [determined randomly by rolling 1d8])

Effects can overlap.  Vapirs are immune to any and all effects generated by their fellows' fumes, plus all other hazardous environmental toxins or chemicals.

When a vapir is reduced to 10 or less Hit Points, it assumes a gaseous form and attempts to flee at a movement rate of 45' per round.  It is completely immune to all conventional weapons and energy attacks in this form, but is still vulnerable to wind-based attacks and Mental Mutations.  At -10 Hit Points or less, a vapir is truly dead; otherwise, it re-solidifies after 1d8 hours at full Hit Points.

A vapir's morale becomes 10 when protecting its young.

Mutations:  Aberrant Form (Gaseous Form), Toxic Weapon ("Gas Generation")

"Y" is for "Yowli"

Yowli

No. Enc.:  1d4 (1d6)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  150' (50')
Armor Class:  6
Hit Dice:  12
Attacks:  3 or 1 (2 claws, 1 bite, or spittle)
Damage:  1d12 / 1d12 / 1d4, or 1d10
Save:  L9
Morale:  9
Hoard Class:  XX
XP:  5,200

Yowlis are primitive, muscular, 11' tall humanoids that haunt mountainous peaks and frigid wastes.  While clearly avian (with feathered bodies, beaks, and oversized claws), they curiously possess mammalian sex characteristics.  They can rotate their heads almost a full 360 degrees around, and are never Surprised.

Yowlis are fierce combatants.  They are almost invisible in snowy conditions, and Surprise on a roll of 1-4 on 1d6.  Three times per day, they can screech so terrifyingly that any non-yowli within a 50' radius flees in a random direction for 3d4 rounds on a failed Saving Throw Versus Energy.  And their spittle (capable of being sprayed up to 15' away) is acidic, doing 1d10 damage on contact and an additional 1d8 damage per round for 1d6 rounds.

Their wings are non-functional, and only used in threat and mating displays.

Mutations:  Increased Sense (Vision), Reflective Epidermis (Cold), Toxic Weapon (Spittle)

"S" is for "Slaying Grantis"

Slaying Grantis

No. Enc.:  1 (1)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  150' (50')
          —Fly:  90' (30')
Armor Class:  6
Hit Dice:  9
Attacks:  2 (2 claws + special)
Damage:  2d6 / 2d6, + special
Save:  L5
Morale:  10
Hoard Class:  XVI
XP:  3,800

Slaying grantises are ferocious, 12' tall bipeds that stalk forests, jungles, and overgrown ruins.  Their powerful bodies are particularly freakish, as they locomote on their front, ape-like limbs, and use their forward-growing hind legs as rending talons.  Shaggy green fur covers their frames.

Patient, still, and nigh-invisible in the greenery (thereby Surprising on a 1-5 on 1d6), they can wait for hours until oblivious prey wanders into range.  And slaying grantises are as lethal as they are stealthy.  If both claws successfully strike in the same round, the target is drawn close and savagely bitten.  The victim must immediately make a Saving Throw Versus Death.  Success means that they suffer the claw damage and an extra 2d10 damage from biting...while failure indicates that its head is drawn into the slaying grantis' mouth, and bitten off.  Death is instant.  (Androids decapitated in this manner might be repairable, at the Mutant Lord's discretion.)

Slaying grantises are too heavy for sustained flight, and the creatures more accuately "flutter" than fly proper.  They can only remain airborne for a maximum of 4 rounds, and then must descend and spend at least 2 rounds grounded before taking off again.

Mutations:  Complete Wing Development (Limited), Increased Sense (Vision)

"T" is for "'Tanteater"

'Tanteater

No. Enc.:  0 (1d2)

Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  45' (15')
Armor Class:  7
Hit Dice:  16
Attacks:  3 (2 claws, 1 tongue-lash)
Damage:  5d6 / 5d6 / 1d12
Save:  L7
Morale:  9
Hoard Class:  None
XP:  4,200

'Tanteaters (shortened from mutanteater, with the accent on the second syllable) are immense, tawny beasts with bodies the size of Ancient double-decker buses (and lengths twice as long, if you include their tails).  They have insatiable appetites, and stalk the grasslands and forests of the Mutant Future hunting for their favored prey item:  Mutant Humans.

'Tanteaters can detect, within a 5 mile radius, the particular biochemical signatures that set Mutant Humans apart from the other Character Races.  Drawn to large groupings of Mutant Humans, the massive creatures simply lumber into settlements, claw their way through any barricades and walls, and proceed to lap up as many mutants as possible with their sticky, 30' long tongues.

A 'tanteater targets one victim with its tongue, and can catch up to two others (3 total) within the same 10' radius with a successful attack against each target.  Anyone successfully struck with a To Hit roll of 15 or greater is Swallowed.  Those Swallowed suffer 2d10 damage per round until dead, or the 'tanteater is killed.

'Tanteaters have no compunction against devouring the other Character Races; they just don't absorb the same nutritional value from them.

Mutations:  Gigantism, Unique Sense ("Mutanto-Sense")

Mo' Mutants, Mo' Problems

The "Print Friendly" button isn't working properly, as it gives random results to each entry (sometimes not showing pictures...sometimes not showing big blocks of text...and other screwy issues).

I'm leaving it up for now, as I try to get it fixed on the back end.

But if I can't get it working, I'll just remove it later.  Sorry for the hassles.

"T" is for "Trilobison"

Trilobison

No. Enc.:  0 (3d6)

Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  120' (40')
      —Swim:  45' (15')
Armor Class:  2
Hit Dice:  5
Attacks:  1 (head-butt)
Damage:  1d6
Save:  L3
Morale:  7
Hoard Class:  None
XP:  650

Trilobison (both singular and plural) are squat, low-slung, bulky beasts covered in chitinous carapaces.  They only reach between 3'-4' tall at the tops of their backsides, but stretch to lengths anywhere between 10'-15'.  Trilobison herds congregate near fresh water and mudholes to graze and wallow, and they are equally at home above or below the surface.

Normally docile, trilobison Charge when provoked, or when protecting young; however, their distinctive horns curl backwards, and are useless for goring attacks.

Many riverside and aquatic communities depend on domesticated trilobison for survival, as the creatures provide meat, milk, eggs, hides (for armor), horns (for weapons), and dung (for fertilizer).  Trilobison are also used as beasts of burden and combat mounts.

Mutations:  Aberrant Form (Gills and Lungs), Natural Armor (Extreme) (x2)

'The Mutant Epoch' Non-Review (or, "Pincers: The Pinchening")

That I loves me some post-apocalyptic gaming is an understatement, and this blog is a testament to my sensibilities:  Gamma World, Mutant Future, Damnation Decade, and Superhero League Of Hoboken are the bee's knees, while the likes of Twilight: 2000, Darwin's World, and Fallout generally leave me cold.  (I adored the Roadwar 2000 and Wasteland games on my Apple IIe, though.  Go figure.)

Basicially, if I can't roll up a lightning-breathing bat-man with quills and narcolepsy, or if the world isn't sufficiently wonky, then I'm not all that interested.

That brings us to William McAusland's / Outland Arts' new rpg, The Mutant Epoch.  I've been excited for this one, as it seems to combine what I love with plenty of grim-n-gritty for the kiddies.

My copy arrived Saturday, and I've poured over it the last few days.  But I'm not ready to write a formal review (if I'll ever be); no, this post just collects my gut impressions about the book.

--

Random Thoughts and Ponderings

) Mr. McAusland draws like a sunnuvabitch.  Are there any pictures he didn't do?

) The work's overall vibe, thanks to the art and "chart-iness" of the rules, made me nostalgic.  I felt like I was reading one of my beloved games from my late teen years, like GDW's Dark Conspiracy.  No, wait—Stellar Games' Nightlife...yeah, that's the one.  This is a good thing.

) Now that's what I call mutation lists...however...

) ...spiked pincers seem so ubiquitous, those without are the REAL freaks.

) The bestiary absolutely, positively rocks.  And if I may be so arrogant, some of them (like the land pikes and wolf frogs) are critters that I'd design for this very blog...except mine would come out kinda adorable, while Mr. McAusland's are terrifying.

) d1000 rolls?!  Holy crap.  Colonel Lou, I need your dice more than ever!

) I can't let The Wife know about the Slave, Whore caste-class, because she'll want to scrap Penelope the mutant crawdad and play this game instead.  Or she'll make Penny change professions.... *shudder*.

) The picture corresponding to the Grapple skill made me guffaw, as it looks obscene but actually isn't (I blame its placement across from the Erotic Arts skill more than anything).  I'm suitably embarrassed.

) Every game—no matter what genre—I referee from this moment forth will have a treasure table listing a dead rat, saved for dinner and shrunken head, worth 2d8sp.

) Build-Your-Own-Dice in the back, behind the graph- AND hex-paper?!  Sweet.

) I think know I'll buy everything Outland Arts puts out for this game.

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I hope my enthusiasm for the book shows.  I freely admit I'm intimidated by the system (and, really, I'll probably end up just stripmining stuff for Mutant Future), but I'm randomly rolling up a character now...

...who's gonna be a Bestial Human Bobcat.  I'm smiling here.

PS:  The website has a "Kids Corner" with a mutant coloring book.  Outstanding.

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More to follow.