Friday, May 6, 2011

Brand Names, Brand Identity

In the Mutant Future, baby-naming books have long turned to ash.  So how do proud, post-apocalyptic parents-to-be go about naming their little radioactive bundles of tentacular joy?

They dig through the rubble and ruins to find junk, artifacts, trash, and signage with the snazziest, jazziest labels and logos on them, that's how.

So here's some charts with random first and last names.  Roll away, or mix and match to taste.  Tweak the spellings as desired (and some are already altered below).

First Names
  1. Alka
  2. Amway
  3. Arby
  4. Brawndo
  5. Calgon
  6. Chee-Toh
  7. Draino
  8. Exxon
  9. Faygo
  10. Jeep
  11. Kellogg
  12. Manwich
  13. McRib
  14. Mel-O
  15. Nextel
  16. Quizno
  17. Reebok
  18. Rolex
  19. Shiner
  20. Trojan

Last Names
  1. Audi
  2. Bacardi
  3. Boy-R-D
  4. Coke
  5. Colgate
  6. Del-Monty
  7. Dentyne
  8. Fanta
  9. Funyun
  10. Google
  11. Honda
  12. Jolt
  13. Kodak
  14. Kroger
  15. Nissan
  16. Pibb
  17. Pringle
  18. Snapple
  19. Supreme
  20. Yel-O

Mush Pot
  1. Atari
  2. Avon
  3. Bose
  4. Duracell
  5. Eebay
  6. Folger
  7. Hershey
  8. I-Max
  9. I-Pod
  10. Jheri
  11. Kotex
  12. Lego
  13. Noxema
  14. Sansabelt
  15. Shasta
  16. Slimjim
  17. Twizzler
  18. Whopper
  19. Zenith
  20. Zima

You can guarantee that my players in the upcoming Don't Mess With Wrexus campaign will encounter an Exxon Honda, a Jeep Supreme, a Manwich Snapple, a Reebok Bacardi, and a Quizno Pibb, whoever they happen to be.

(Special thanks to Idiocracy.)

UPDATE:  The above lists have been expanded here.


  1. President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho approves. ;)

  2. This is a good idea, and builds on that scrawler concept very well. It makes sense too and gives a strong sense of location.

  3. People would also add lot's of juniors, senior's and -ray and -bob (-may and -ann of for ladies)

    I can most certainly see the player bumping into a Mr. Arby-Ray Snapple, the loving husband of Fanta-Ann McRib.

    I suppose somewhere out in the glowing hills the Coke and Pepsi families could be waging war.

  4. I think I once played a Gnome named Faygo Pringle.

    If not, I should have.