THE SHOW IS ABOUT TO BEGIN.

PREPARE YOURSELVES!!!

If I May Brag I Moment...

...I have some of the most creative, dynamic players that I've EVER had the privilege of gaming with.

My table has old pros, novices-of-the-adult-but-never-really-gamed variety, and a 13-year-old who grew up with gamers.  That kid is an absolute Game Master's Mutant Lord's nightmare—in a good way—because he comes up with damned brilliant uses of his mutations on the fly.

Case in point, just yesterday he made an encounter with two waasps go completely off the rails—in a good way—from the get-go, and the PCs murderhobo-ized those monsters to artifacts and riches.

Seriously.  It was a massacre.  And it was awesome and terrifying to behold.  They done good.

I am just BEAMING from behind my ML's screen.  I'll write up the encounter just as soon as I can.

"C" is for "Coral Crawler"

Coral Crawler

No. Enc.:  1d4 (1d6)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  90' (30')
      —Swim:  45' (15')
Armor Class:  2
Hit Dice:  12
Attacks:  3 (2 claws, 1 bite)
Damage:  1d8 / 1d8 / 1d12
Save:  L6
Morale:  9
Hoard Class:  None
XP:  4,400

Coral crawlers are ambulatory, rhinoceros-sized, animalistic collectives of marine polyps. They hunt along the ocean floors, but surface to prowl beaches and riverbanks.

Coral crawlers are covered stinging barbs that inject a Class 7 neurotoxin.  And being made of millions of individual creatures grants them complete immunity to any and all Mental Mutations.

Aquatic tribes with thick carapaces and/or immunity to poisons tame coral crawlers as mounts.

Mutations:  Density Alteration, Dermal Poison Slime, Parasitic Control

"F" is for "Finkdaddy"

Finkdaddy

No. Enc.:  1d4 (1d4)
Alignment:  Chaotic
Movement:  120' (40')
Armor Class:  5
Hit Dice:  8
Attacks:  4 or 1 (2 claws, 1 tailslap, 1 bite, or weapon, or vehicle)
Damage:  1d4 / 1d4 / 1d8 / 1d10, or by weapon, or by vehicle +4d6
Save:  L8
Morale:  9
Hoard Class:  XVIII
XP:  3,560

Finkdaddies are 5' tall, bug-eyed, pudgy relatives of the vermen.  Their mangy fur is usually a toxic green hue, but the creatures can appear in any day-glo color.

Finkdaddies are manic and altogether unhinged, and can't handle their liquor.  But they are geniuses when it comes to unearthing, repairing, and upgrading Ancient technology, and vehicles are their specialty.  The sheer rarity of mechanical transport in the Mutant Future makes finkdaddies the undisputed kings of the blasted roadways.

If engaged in vehicular combat, a finkdaddy's attacks automatically gain a +3 To Hit and +4d6 damage.

Mutations:  Atrophied Cerebellum [D], Energy-Retaining Cell Structure, Increased Willpower, Intellectual Affinity (Tinkerer), Prehensile Tail, Reflective Epidermis (Radiation)

"M" is for "Molock"

Molock

No. Enc.:  1d10 (5d6)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  120' (40')
  —Burrow:  30' (10')
Armor Class:  7
Hit Dice:  7
Attacks:  2 or 1 (2 claws, or weapon)
Damage:  1d8 / 1d8, or by weapon
Save:  L7
Morale:  9
Hoard Class:  XVII +1d12 gizmos
XP:  2,540

Molocks are 4' tall bipeds with fleshy snouts and enormous claws.  Their beady eyes are obscured by dusty fur.

Molocks construct elaborate subterranean complexes, where they cultivate forests of the tastiest fungi in the Mutant Future.  They trade their harvest for only the most exotic of Ancient foodstuffs, as they fancy themselves quite the gourmands.  Molocks hoard any and all artifacts they find in their excavations.

Most molocks are genial...but a renegade fringe faction known as The Architects Of Night seeks out buried doomsday weapons so as to destroy the sun and claim dominion over the planet's surface.

Mutations:  Damage Turning, Echolocation, Fragrance Development, Increased Sense (Hearing, Taste), Precognition

"L" is for "Laazghul"

Laazghul

No. Enc.:  1d6 (2d8)
Alignment:  Chaotic
Movement:  90' (30')
Armor Class:  6
Hit Dice:  6
Attacks:  2 or 1 (2 claws, or 1 head-beamer)
Damage:  1d4 / 1d4, or see below
Save:  L4
Morale:  10
Hoard Class:  XXI
XP:  1,820

Laazghuls are mutated relatives of the walking dead [p. 101 of the Mutant Future Core Rules].  They blast foes with the emitter arrays on their heads.

To determine what their skull-zappers shoot, roll on the chart below, either for each laazghul or the entire group.  Ranges for all attacks are 90'.

1. Heat Ray:  3d6 damage; metal objects melt on a failed Saving Throw Vs Energy
2. Cold Beam:  2d8 damage; frozen to the spot for 2d6 turns (or until chipped free) on a failed Saving Throw Vs Stun
3. Napalm Gout:  2d6 damage, plus another 1d6 per round for the next 1d6 rounds
4. Hypno-Ray:  target switches sides and allies with the laazghul for 2d6 turns on a failed Saving Throw Versus Stun
5. Pulse Blaster:  4d6 straight-up damage
6. Lightning Arc:  6d6 damage; half damage on successful Saving Throw Vs Energy

Anyone killed by a laazghul's claw attacks rises in 3 nights as a new laazghul.  (Those killed by head-beamers are probably too zapped to return from the dead as anything.)

Mutations:  Energy Ray (x6)  (See Above)

—

Not-The-Designer's Notes:  Shamelessly horked from Unca Jeff at Jeff's Game Blog.  I just Mutant Future'd 'em up (which pretty much just means more HD).

"S" is for "Stagsquatch"

Stagsquatch

No. Enc.:  1d6 (2d8)
Alignment:  Chaotic
Movement:  150' (50')
Armor Class:  6
Hit Dice:  13
Attacks:  3 or 1 (2 claws, 1 bite, or 1 gore)
Damage:  1d12 / 1d12 / 3d6, or 2d10
Save:  L13
Morale:  10
Hoard Class:  XIV
XP:  5,100

Stagsquatches are shaggy, reddish, 10' tall bipeds with lithe, lean builds that belie ferocious strength.  Nasty fangs and tusks jut from their salivating snouts, and their eyes glow red with malice.  Stagsquatches are extremely stealthy (Surprising on a 1-4 on 1d6), and like apes, they locomote on prominent forelimbs.

Cruel and clever, stagsquatches set traps (deadfalls, pits, tripwires, etc) and stage ambushes to capture their favorite prey:  Pure Humans.  And they have an ironic fondness for Ancient metal "deer crossing" signs, which they post throughout their hunting grounds to further unnerve victims.

Stagsquatches share a collective fear of dogs, both normal and mutant (including humanoids).

Mutations:  Dual Cerebellum [+1 random Mental Mutation], Phobia ("Canids") [D], Reflective Epidermis (Electricity)

"L" is for "Lionfrog"

Lionfrog

No. Enc.:  1d4 (1d8)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  120' (40')
      —Swim:  30' (10')
Armor Class:  4
Hit Dice:  12
Attacks:  3 or 1 (2 claws, 1 bite, or 1 gore)
Damage:  1d10 / 1d10 / 1d6, or 2d6
Save:  L6
Morale:  10
Hoard Class:  VII
XP:  3,600

Lionfrogs are bovine-sized, garishly-hued amphibians that prowl the irradiated grasslands in family prides.  Combinations of bony growths and prominent external gills form the "manes" that give them their names.

Up to 3 times per day, a lionfrog can discharge a 20' diameter cloud of deadly Class 17 gas from armored pores on its backside.  Lionfrogs are immune to this substance, but still vulnerable to other poisons.

Massive and muscular beasts, lionfrogs avoid the water; in fact, they take 1d4 damage per round when submerged.

Mutations:  Epidermal Susceptibility ("Water") [D], Natural Armor (Extreme), Toxic Weapon ("Gas Generation")

Mutants In The News — "Lord Humungus Throws A Mean Kegger" Edition

This is a thing I must attend one year.

And I expect a rowdy crew (to arms, Sniderman and The Abominable Dr. Causey!) to join me!

Rest In Peace, Chalur

R.I.P. Chalur, the winged, fire-blasting, chameleonic, injury-doubling, arachnophobic Mutant Human.

Your crippling mutations combined with even more crippling decision paralysis in the heat of every battle would've done you in eventually...

...so perhaps it's a kindness that a teammate's Critical Miss with an implosion mace both pulverized your ribcage and detonated all your ammo in the same fumbled swing.

Your corpse will provide a sumptuous feast for the local crawfrogs and frogdads.  As you arose from the swamp, so shall you return.

—

This Saturday's Mutant Future session was a doozy, what with the Ancient bunker and the blood-sucking freakjob and its thralls and the missing henchmen and the universal decryption box and the new doll-sized mutant teammate and the three-armed necro-specialist and the fungus-giants and the  quest for airboat fuel and the six Critical Misses in a row (4 from the PCs, 2 from the Mutant Lord) and the mayhem and the first PC death.

"B" is for "Bogie"

Bogie

No. Enc.:  2d6 (5d6)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  150' (50')
Armor Class:  3
Hit Dice:  4+1
Attacks:  3 (2 claws, 1 bite)
Damage:  1d3 / 1d3 / 1d4
Save:  L5
Morale:  7
Hoard Class:  XVII + 3 gizmos
XP:  590

Bogies are 3' long, nocturnal, matriarchal primates that lurk in jungles and overgrown ruins.  Mischievous and highly intelligent (and rather snobby about it, too), bogies love harassing and spooking any who encroach on their territory.  They are quite adept at using tools and Ancient artifacts.

Bogies can alter their atomic structure so as to shift "out of phase" with matter around them. They can use this ability up to 4 times per hour, at a duration of up to 1 minute each.  Bogies are completely immune to any and all attacks and environmental conditions while intangible...but they can't interact (attack, use mutations, etc.) with the world around them, either.

Renegade bogies often become "retrieval specialists", and they charge a premium for their services.

Mutations:  Control Weather, Metaconcert, Neural Telekinesis, Prehensile Tail, Psionic Flight, Unique Mutation ("Ghosting")

THIS Is Mutant Future

Prepare to be awesomed.

Mutants In The News — "Chickens Come Home To Roost" Edition

When we last mentioned Friend Of The Field Guide Legion McRae and his intrepid artisans at Interloper Miniatures, they were all hard at work bringing my favorite RPG mutants of all time to life!

And their labors have hatched!  

Just check out the majesty provided by master painter, Chad Lascelles!

And here's the rest of the figs, unassembled and unpainted!

Check out the eyepatch on the rightmost rabboid!!!

In the Mutant Future, cyclops-chicken-with-a-molotov fries YOU up!!!

Buggoids gone bonkers!!!

Syd & Marty Krofft WILL NEVER DIE!!!

Man.  I haven't slopped paint on minis since I was about 14, and there is NO WAY I'm gonna make them look as spiffy as ol' General Cluck up there.  Daunting!

—

Good Mr. McRae assures me that more miniatures are in the works, and that he'll have a website up sooner than later.  You'll definitely want to send him some sweet, sweet lucre in exchange for his special brand of post-apocalyptic goods and services.

Thanks again, Interloper!

(I would've posted about these about a month ago, except I kinda-sorta lost the package they mailed back in June in a deluge of wedding gifts.  The little critters got boxed in a crockpot, of all things. Yeesh.)

Smarmageddon!!!

I'm so tickled by Jack Shear's Planet Motherfucker, I set up another blog dedicated to its trashocalyptic, psychoholic sleazery.  There's a tumblr and everything!

If you like my Devastation Drive-In nonsense—and based on the utterly boggling number of hits the Rottweiler and Robot Monster entries get, SOMEONE does—I think you'll find something of interest over at...

THE HAUNTED SPOOKSHOW OF CHANNEL X!!!

"D" is for "Dillode"

Dillode

No. Enc.:  1d4 (1d4)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  120' (40')
  —Burrow:  18' (6')
Armor Class:  3
Hit Dice:  4
Attacks:  2 (2 claws)
Damage:  1d6 / 1d6
Save:  L3
Morale:  8
Hoard Class:  None
XP:  465

Dillodes are 4' long, subterranean animals with twitching antennae and thick shells that crackle with energy.  They feed on insects, grubs, and worms, standard and mutated alike.

Dillode shells are prized by armorers, as protective gear made from their hides grants AC 3 and 25 HP worth of electrical resistance.  But the critters are particularly susceptible to infection, and their germy corpses litter the wasteland.  Anyone touching a dead dillode must make a  Saving Throw Versus Disease at -2 or contract an atypically virulent strain of leprosy [see p. 48 of the Mutant Future Core Rules].

Mutations:  Energy Ray (Electricity), Energy-Retaining Cell Structure, Force Screen (Greater), Reduced Immune System [D], Mental Phantasm, Reflective Epidermis (Electricity), Teleport

Radioactive Review — 'Wisdom From The Wastelands #20: Mutation Modifiers'

When I first came to the Mutant Future rpg and this here blog, I strove to make my mutants "by the book". I doggedly used only the core rules, to both keep things simple, and to challenge myself by working within the system's constraints.  I avoided (and by that, I mean "bought them anyway because I'm a gonzo-post-apocalyptic completist, but disregarded everything contained therein") third-party products that added new mutations at all costs.

But, gradually, I ported over a Gamma World mutation here and there, and made up a couple of my own, which led to a homebrewed Random Mutations chart for my campaign. [Consult the sidebar...download today!]  And with my game going strong, some players like to keep things jazzy, so I've made further tweaks.

So, almost three years in, this Mutant Lord has come around to being a tad more flexible with the mutations...and that's where the nifty Wisdom From The Wastelands #20:  Mutation Modifiers comes in.

WFTW #20: MM provides 60—that's right, SIXTY—random modifiers that make each mutation unique, specialized, and / or utterly nutzoid.  They're like Marvel Super-Heroes / Mutants & Masterminds power stunts...no, more like HERO System's Advantages / Disads.

Because I want you to spend your money, I'll only mention a few of my favorite selections:

) Accelerated:  mutant automatically wins Initiative when using the selected mutation.  A player's dream!

) Amnesia:  brain drain, slurping away either 25 XP or 1 minute worth of memories.  GM's choice!

) Deciduous:  body parts go dormant, meaning corresponding mutations only function for 6 months of the year!

) Disgusting:  that mutation is nastay, y'all.

) Healing:  each use restores 1d4 HP.

) Heat Flash:  metabolic surge induces self-damage, and makes mutant triple-detectable via thermal vision.  That's just clever.

) Sapient:  Let me quote:  "Sapient mutations have their own personalities and make their own actions."  It's like having an egomaniacal D&D magic sword, right there in your DNA!

) Unstoppable:  removes Saving Throw to resist mutation.  Yowza.

And there's 52 more, plus a handful of substitutions if those don't float your boat.  

—

The Justin of three years ago would have HATED this supplement.

But the Justin now?  He adores it, as there's some great, crazy stuff inside.  And though I've gone on record stating that most of Skirmisher Publishing's rules-mod products leave me frigid at best and outright hostile at worst, author Derek Holland and the Usual Skirmisher Suspects knocked this one out of the park.

I know I sound like a broken voxbot at this point, but WFTW #20 is an amazing bargain at 99¢.  Buy it here!

22 Quick Post-Apocalyptic Questions Redux

My session last Saturday went swimmingly.  Almost exclusively an urban city-crawl, with Ancient self-cleaning toilets and down-on-their-luck androids and a kindly tortoise sawbones-slash-dentist-slash-beautician (who's kind of a racist) and multiple psychics cheating at poker and a duchy of chemical-guzzling creepoids and a mechanical dog and a bar brawl and stolen marshmallow fluff and an airboat.

I chalk up the success to fleshing out Gunspoint, and giving the players places they wanted to explore.  And the town grew in "real time" as they riffed and queried and such.  My settings and games are always collaborative efforts, and they're better for it.

Answers after the jump!  (And consult the map for more detail.)

—

22 Quick Questions For Your Post-Apocalyptic Campaign Setting

1. What's the deal with my village's particular Rite Of Passage?  — You're no jailbait village bumpkin trundling to Far-Go or Quests Mountain in this campaign; you're an "independent contractor" in the bustling dive of Gunspoint 
2. Which way to the nearest tavern? — Fortunately, one of the PC's backstories includes being a bouncer at The Rusted Hulk, a mud-stranded ship converted into a bar. Convenient!  
3. Where do we buy useful gear? — Gunspoint is rife with vendors of all stripes; you can find pretty much anything, if you know where to look.
4. Where do we repair / reload / refuel these artifacts? — There's a few "tech guys" in town.  Expensive, though...will probably demand half your loot just to fix the rest.  And fuel cells are nigh-impossible to come by.  Explore, scavenge, repeat.
5. Where do we get some high-tech healing? — In the wastelands, where you plunder, plunder, plunder.  No one willingly parts with med-kits in Gunspoint, unless offered, say, a firstborn, or a soul.
6. Where do we fix our resident android / robot? — In "Cybergatory" (located in The Scumside of Gunspoint), where robots go to die.  Germaphobic engineer Mahgna Tinus will fix you right up, if you bring her another android (dead or alive) to provide the parts....
7. Say, what IS the local currency / medium of exchange, anyway? — "Currency" loosely consists of Ancient CDs, DVDs, and credit cards; the shinier / prettier / "neatest design"-ier the material, the more valuable.  Everything is mostly barter, barter, barter.
8. Are there any infamous ruins / vaults / laboratories / installations around where sane mutants fear to tread? — Go outside.  Walk a mile in any direction.  There ya go.  (Ok, ok...there's The Blastrodome and the sunken ruins of The Downtown and the NASTAR spaceport and a few others of note.)  And there's always those mythic Ruins Of Woebrook....
   
   
   
   
   
9. Where is the closest contaminated zone to idiotically try for powerful new mutations? — The Burning Sea is a smoldering wasteland of refineries and chemical plants and grounded tankers, where you'll probably just end up with cancer.  There's also the cracked reactor on the southern end of The Slime Barony.
10. Where do we get cures for the following conditions:  toxin, radiation, infection, lousy new mutations, nanobot infestation, corrupted databanks, broken cybernetic implants? — You're pretty screwed, unless you plunder, plunder, plunder.
11. Are there any cults / gangs / cryptic alliances I can join and / or fight? — There are plenty (like The Zoopremists and the Satan's Cerebrum's science-biker gang), but you're beneath their notice...for now.
12. Where can I hire mercenaries? — You ARE a mercenary, silly.  But other townies will happily work for you.
13. Where can I find a technician, lorekeeper, psychic, or other expert NPC? — Gunspoint has it all.  But it helps to know a guy who knows a guy.
14. Where do I find a mighty mutant monster mount? — The small villages outside of Gunspoint herd trilobison. And peliphants, beebras, and gruboceros live in the wilds. Pretty much, if it has legs, you can try to tame it.
15. Who is the greatest warlord in the wasteland? — The Queen (whoever—or whatever—she is) is taking over swaths territory with her mutant army.
16. Who is the craziest Artificial Intelligence in the wasteland? — REDACTED.
17. Who is hoarding all the gasoline in the wasteland? — Gas is pretty much gone; fuel is made from plant squeezins.  You find a source, you keep it to yourself.
18. What critters are sufficiently terrorizing the wasteland that if I kill them, I become famous? — There's a cult of blood-draining freak-os out there, and they serve big, scary, bat-things....
19. Are there any wars brewing I could go fight? — The Queen is coming for your town.  It's only a matter of time.
20. How about gladiatorial arenas complete with hard-won glory and fabulous artifact prizes? — Pit-fighting is as common in Gunspoint as extra limbs and venereal disease.
21. Is there anywhere on the map where certain races are shunned, mutations / artifacts are outlawed, and / or The Powers That Be significantly hassle the PCs? — The Slime Barony is adamantly pro-plant; fleshy ones, beware.  And Huntsvile is reputed to be overrun with robots that adhere to Ancient correctional policies and procedures....
22. Are there means to journey into space, or under the sea, or through the dimensional barriers? — The NASTAR spaceport would theoretically be a great place to visit the stars, if it wasn't infested with all those lunar lupines....

22 Quick Questions For Your Post-Apocalyptic Campaign Setting

When prepping for my Don't Mess With Wrexus game after a two-month hiatus, I realized that the PCs will have some serious questions to which I don't have answers.

Case in point, just how is Android B-Zero going to repair that significant structural damage? It's not like he can just saunter into Radio Shack.   (Heh.  Like anyone ever goes to Radio Shack.)

So here I am, shamelessly ripping off Unca Jeff Rients.

HIS WRATH WILL BE SEVERE.

But my knob goes to 22, y'all.  And I'll answer them in a subsequent post.

—

22 Quick Questions For Your Post-Apocalyptic Campaign Setting

1. What's the deal with my village's particular Rite Of Passage?
2. Which way to the nearest tavern?
3. Where do we buy useful gear?
4. Where do we repair / reload / refuel these artifacts?
5. Where do we get some high-tech healing?
6. Where do we fix our resident android / robot?
7. Say, what IS the local currency / medium of exchange, anyway?
8. Are there any infamous ruins / vaults / laboratories / installations around where sane mutants fear to tread?
9. Where is the closest contaminated zone to idiotically try for powerful new mutations?
10. Where do we get cures for the following conditions:  toxin, radiation, infection, lousy new mutations, nanobot infestation, corrupted databanks, broken cybernetic implants?
11. Are there any cults / gangs / cryptic alliances I can join and / or fight?
12. Where can I hire mercenaries?
13. Where can I find a technician, lorekeeper, psychic, or other expert NPC?
14. Where do I find a mighty mutant monster mount?
15. Who is the greatest warlord in the wasteland?
16. Who is the craziest Artificial Intelligence in the wasteland?
17. Who is hoarding all the gasoline in the wasteland?
18. What critters are sufficiently terrorizing the wasteland that if I kill them, I become famous?
19. Are there any wars brewing I could go fight?
20. How about gladiatorial arenas complete with hard-won glory and fabulous artifact prizes?
21. Is there anywhere on the map where certain races are shunned, mutations / artifacts are outlawed, and / or The Powers That Be significantly hassle the PCs?
22. Are there means to journey into space, or under the sea, or through the dimensional barriers?

"S" is for "Shameless Self-Promotion"

With a wonky work schedule (which is humble, coy code for "100-hour weeks that zombify me") and honeymooning and con season and assorted nonsense, I tend to forget all the cool stuff that goes on in my little plot of the irradiated wastelands.

Such as this thing:

That, my merry mutants, is the cover to Jungle Castle Rock Apocalypse, by Formal Friend Of The Field Guide, Dustin Brandt (of Fire In The Jungle fame).

It's a "a post-apocalypse fantasy role-playing setting and adventure supplement...more like Ralph Bakshi's Wizards than Mad Max."

And my favorite thing about it?  It's chock full o' monsters from this very blog!  Mr. Brandt handpicked his favorite, "most jungle-y" specimens, and set them loose in his product!

That.  Is.  AWESOME.  So go buy his magazine and/or PDF.  It's a bargain!

And Our Friendly Neighborhood Sniderman kindly reminded me that I completely spaced on mentioning this little gem.

Remember my "Ruins Of Woebrook" adventure I posted, then yanked, a few months back?  Well, here's why I pulled it...

It's been published!  Yep, I'm a fancy big-city author now, thanks to those dandy dudes at Skirmisher Publishing (who do the snazzy Wisdom From The Wastelands series).

Here's a link, if you are so inclined to splurge on a scenario summed up thusly by one of my players:

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

I can't think of a better review.

Mutants In The News — "A Field Guide To Planet Motherfucker" Edition

DARE YOU CLICK INTO THE ABYSS?!!!

DO YOU?!!!!!!!!!