Sunday, September 3, 2023

"One Thing About Santa Clarita I Could Never Stomach: All The Damn Vampires"

Enjoy another new Dark Inheritance for Weird Frontiers.  This'un rounds out the various "main undeadlies" included in the core rules.  PDF is over in the files!


Power costs 1 point of Personality.

Kin-folk:  Vampire

Duration:  1d3+CL rounds

Visage:  The tommyknocker’s face becomes chiropteran, with ridiculously protruding ears, flattened upturned nose, and jutting snaggle-toothed fangs.  Their sunken eyes glow with unholy radiance, and fingers, connected by webbed skin, sharpen to elongated points.  Dripping spittle renders them nigh-unintelligible.  Attire becomes shrouded in cobwebs writhing with insects and graveworms.

Power:  The tommyknocker’s senses heighten to those of an apex predator.  They can see in abject darkness, and gain a +4 bonus to all visual-, auditory-, olfactory-, and gustatory-related rolls.  Furthermore, the tommyknocker gains a wall-crawling climb speed of 20’, and the ability to make standing leaps of 15’.

Curse:  The tommyknocker becomes malevolently ravenous for the lifeforces of the weak and infirm.  They must make a WIL Save of DC 10 each round to avoid assaulting the closest ally / friendliest NPC with the lowest current Hit Point total.  A successful attack grapples the victim, doing 1d6 biting damage the first round and 1d4 exsanguination damage each subsequent round until the effect ends.  Living targets reduced to 0 Hit Points in this fashion awaken as Vampires after three moonrises with a burning hatred for their tommyknocker sire.

Wednesday, August 23, 2023

"T" Is For "Trenchmouth"


Trenchmouths are sentient garbage disposals.  Their bulbous, rubbery, tripodic, sofa-sized bodies are essentially all snaggle-fanged mouth.

Trenchmouths sport three elongating (up to 15' each) tentacles, and the two thickest end in prehensile graspers with retractable grip-spines.   The slender third has two night-vision eyes and a "brainwave radar" nodule that detects (but can't read) thoughts of intelligent beings and psionics / mental mutations in a quarter-mile radius.  Trenchmouths are thereby impossible to Surprise.

When attacking at range, trenchmouths lash with both arms to smash, ensnare, or both.  Grasped targets suffer 1d6 damage upon initial contact and each round thereafter, and must make a DC 15 STR check to escape.  If a trenchmouth successfully snags the same target with both tentacles (during the same round, or eventually), its quarry is immediately retracted for a free bite attack.  Trenchmouths are otherwise only able to chomp adjacent targets.  Anyone bitten by a trenchmouth must make a DC 15 Fort Save or come down with ghastly gastro-intestinal strife (aka "trench-trots") that induces temporary 1d4 damage to STR, AGL, and STA, halved movement, and -4 to all rolls over 1d3 days.

Trenchmouths lair submerged in cesspits, sewers, landfills, junkyards, dumpsters, grease traps, and porta-johns.  Accordingly, they are immune to all toxins and diseases, and Surprise foes on 1-5 on 1d6.  And between their spongy mass and clinging "slimy trash coating", trenchmouths only suffer half damage from clubbing- and crushing-based attacks.

Trenchmouths speak Common, Trucker, Pervert, and the secret gurglings of ooze-dom.  Ambitious trenchmouths may take up adventuring, as they are surprisingly deft for their bulk and can manipulate most weapons, tools, and artifacts.

Trenchmouth (statted for Dungeon / Mutant Crawl Classics)

Init +3; Atk tentacle bludgeon +5 melee (1d10+2) or tentacle grasp +4 melee (entangle plus 1d6 per round) or bite melee +3 (2d8 + disease); AC 16; HD 8d8+17; MV trundle 20' or float 10'; Act 2d20; SP camouflage, constriction, disease, infravision 120', mind-sense; SV Fort +13, Ref +4, Wil +10; AL C

Tuesday, August 15, 2023

Be Fruitflyful And Mummify, Y'all!

I love DCC, and been enjoying the heck outta Weird Frontiers via Zoom.  (For the uninitiated, it's essentially Goodman Games' version of Deadlands.)

Here's a new Dark Inheritance for Tommyknockers, PCs who die during the funnel process and come back as spoooooky undead.

Hope y'all find some use!  (And the PDF version is over in the files.)


Power costs 1 point of Personality.

Kin-folk: Mummy

Duration: 1d3+CL rounds

Visage: The tommyknocker’s body desiccates. Their skin tightens and shrivels, and their height diminishes by six inches. Sinews pop and joints grind with every movement. Attire becomes weathered, tattered, and drab.

Power: The tommyknocker’s jaws distend to disgorge frenzied bugs (scorpions and centipedes if assuming the mien of an American mummy, or scarabs and locusts if Egyptian, or crawdads and dragonflies if bog variety) that swarm all targets within a 10’ long, 6’ wide-at-apex cone. For the duration, victims suffer 1d4+1 damage per round, and sentient opponents lose 1d2+1 AC [only at the onset; not cumulative] as they panic from the infestation. The tommyknocker’s compadres are ordinarily unaffected if caught in the area of effect.

Curse: The tommyknocker is overwhelmed by feelings of smug superiority and contempt for the lesser beings that dare intrude in its domain. They must make a WIL Save of DC 10 each round to keep the swarm focused on enemies; failure means bugs attack foes and friends alike.

Friday, August 11, 2023

Mutants In The News — "It's The Heat *AND* The Humidity" Edition

This was already proven over forty years ago by esteemed climatologist Max Rockatansky and his colleagues, Drs Nightrider and Toecutter.  Hrmph.

Yet again, the future is gonna be terrrribleWorth the read over at NPR.

Thursday, August 10, 2023

The Guys Of Wrexus Are Upon You — Meet Jimmy Drips, Moist Miscreant!

 (cross-posted from here)

Everybody needs to know a guy who knows a guy... and Jimmy Drips is the best guy-knowin'-guy around.  Just ask 'imhe'll tell ya!

Ya need dope?  Wheels?  Girlies?  Hoodoo?

Fer enough wet wipes and beer, Jimmy Drips can make it happen, baby.  And ol' Jimmy doesn't mind gettin' his hands even dirtier for a pal like yerself, 'cuz Jimmy loves ya!

(But keep him away from your own stash and ride and gal and mojo, 'cause those dirty hands of his get pretty busy ...and NEVER let him cover the escape route.  That's a surefire way to find yourself, as they say in the vernacular, "wrexus'd".)

[In Don't Mess With Wrexus: The Movie, Jimmy Drips is portrayed by Steve Buscemi.]

What the hell kinda mutant is Jimmy, anyway?  He's a Rawhead

And Rawheads are survivors.

Some escaped midway through dinner with clans of chainsaw-cannibals.  Others peeled themselves up off the asphalt after the worst hot-rod wrecks imaginable.  A few even clawed their way free from Hell's sweltering Agony Engines.

But all left something behind amidst the trauma:  their skins.

Most Rawheads try to make the best of their supernatural transitions—despite the incessant oozing—and return to some semblance of *snort* normal.  But those of the more unhinged variety scheme to reclaim their former lives by any means necessary, and all they need is a facelift... or, more accurately, someone's face to lift in the most felonious of filleted fashions.

One more thing:  if you wanna die—and die ugly—call a Rawhead a goodbody to its face.  Slurs don't get much worse.

Thursday, July 13, 2023

Mutants In The News — "Pythocalypse 2023" Edition

Dang.  Been ages since pythons have popped on my radar.  But, boy howdy, are they poppin'...

... as a world-record-sized snake was found not in its natural environs, but Florida.  Of course.

And downright insane for an invasive species.

Sunday, July 9, 2023

The Guys Of Wrexus Are Upon You — Meet Chainsaw Sadie, Meat-Making Mechanical Madam!

(cross-posted from here)  

"Chainsaw" Sadie Kowalczyk

Despite lopped limbs and gnarly trauma, Sadie Kowalczyk final gal'd the hell out of that inbred cannibal family with their own terror-tools.  And per the KIATIS ("Kill It And Take Its Stuff") credo, she claimed their horrid homestead, transforming a backwoods Superfund-ian abattoir into one of Grueston's must-see locales.

Yep, all road trips require a visit to Chainsaw Sadie's Love Garage.

Stock up on BBQ and jerky--now, both 100% hitchhiker-free!!!--and liquid libations distilled in-house!

Treat yer vehicle to a wash, tune-up, and repairs by the bevy of comely mechanics!

Take advantage of the spa, oh weary sons-of-the-road, as all truckstop amenities--from showers to cots to massages to "ahem... massages" are tended by fetching companions of all shapes, sizes, and species!

The Love Garage prides itself on being a safe, secure place to indulge, and offers assorted specialty suites for the adventurous.  So if you have the time and the budget, check out the Lagoon Room, Tomb Room, Cocoon Room, Bloom Room, Broom Room, 'Shroom Room, Dune Room, Moon Room, and / or Goop Room for delights that'll blow yer gaskets!  Perfect for honeymoons!

Chainsaw Sadie--part saloon madam, part pitmisstress, part junkyard cyborg, and all woman--herself is a brazen, bawdy broad who tolerates zero nonsense.  She's ferocious and protective, and takes in all manner of orphans to mold 'em from survivors to thrive-ers.  Her employees adore her, so cross Sadie at yer own peril.

The lady's signature weapon (engraved with "The Family Is Sawed" below a scored-out "The Saw Is Family") hangs above the main bar.  Rumor is it's fully gassed and ready to dice at a moment's notice.

Chainsaw Sadie thinks she has a friendly rivalry with Farmer Vincent Smith and his sister, Ida.  And with Vincent, she certainly does... but Ida?  That schemin' spinster plots to "harvest" Sadie and add The Love Garage to the Smith culinary empire.  The puritanical Vincent would take affront at such unseemliness (what with all the liquor and prostitution, above and beyond the simple galling treachery), so Ida's machinates on the sly.  Maybe she'll hire some PCs to do the dirty work...?

[In Don't Mess With Wrexus: The Movie, "Chainsaw" Sadie is portrayed by Aunjanue Ellis.]

Sunday, June 25, 2023

The Guys Of Wrexus Are Upon You — Meet Señor Güsto, Viscous Vendor!

Señor Güsto is the owner / operator of  Señor Güsto's Fine Slimesthe go-to Gunspoint vendor for all your ooze-, goop-, and sludge-related needs.

Corrosive cruds?

Mucks medicinal and murderous?

Automotive alluvia?

Lascivious lubes?

Señor Güsto's got 'em all!

His petite, five-foot frame is inverse to his flamboyance.  Señor Güsto affects an outlandish Spanglish accent, gesticulating all the while with folding fan in one hand and dabbing handkerchief in the other.  (And, boy howdy, does he go through hankies, as he's perpetually dripping.  Señor Güsto blames the Grueston humidity, but nobody perspires that much.)

Señor Güsto is cagey about where, exactly, he procures his clammy commodities.  When queried, he narrows sly, twinkling eyes and mutters about "the labyrinthine Sewers Of Syzzurp".

[In Don't Mess With Wrexus: The Movie, Señor Güsto is portrayed by a CGI'd Luis Guzmán.]