Sunday, September 30, 2012

IT... IS HERE!!! AND YOUR BRAIN WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!!!


Last October, A Field Guide To Doomsday traumatized you with celluloid scares and filmic frightmares the likes of which your be-bombshelter'd brains had never before beheld!!!

We subjected you to 21 heapin' helpin's of mucky monstrosities and tentacular terrors, of sanguinary squirts and evolutionary aberrations!!!

But this year, beginning October 1st, we go bigger and bolder, with 31 STRAIGHT DAYS of mindbendingly macabre movie mayhem those other Ol' Spineless Recreant bloggers are too timid to tackle!!!

THEY WOULDN'T DARE...BUT WE GO THERE!!!


NO EXPENSE SPARED!!!  A YEAR IN THE MAKING!!!

Featuring ALL-NEW crazed content and classification categories...plus more, More, MORE OF EVERYTHING YOU DEMENTED DEGENERATES COVET AND CRAVE!!!

MORE THRILLS!!

MORE CHILLS!!!

MORE CARNALITY!!!

MORE BRUTALITY!!!

MORE SICKNESSES!!!

MORE SQUICKNESSES!!!

MORE GORE!!!

MORE TO ABHOR!!!

And, most of all...

MORE, MORE, MORE MALEVOLENT MOVIE MUTANTS FROM THE MOST MISERABLE AND MALIGNED MOTION PICTURES OF THE TIME BEFORE!!!

ALL GARISHLY, GIDDILY RENDERED FOR YOUR GAWKING GAZE, SUPPLEMENTED BY A SHAMEFUL SURFEIT OF STUPEFYING STILLS TO SHATTER YOUR SENSES!!!


So grab your dice, your snacks, your flasks, and your date's jiggliest bits, and get ready for the most nail-gnashing, gut-crunching, skull-stomping, psyche-scrambling, libido-loosening, fluid-flurrying, psychotronically phantasmagorical shock-show that is the...

...SPAWN OF DEVASTATION DRIVE-IN!!!



YOUR BRAIN WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!!!

Saturday, September 29, 2012

IT... IS COMING!!!

CAN YOUR DELICATE DISPOSITION DEAL WITH THE MOST DESPICABLE OF DEPRAVITIES?!!!



With a special bonus...FOR THE LADIES!!!



Friday, September 28, 2012

IT... IS COMING!!!

DARE YOU RISK FISCAL SECURITY, TO PEEK THROUGH YOUR FINGERS AT THE NSFW WONDERS THAT AWAIT YOU?!!!

(REST ASSURED, YOUR FAMILY'S DESPONDENCY IS INCONSEQUENTIAL COMPARED TO THE GLORIES IN STORE!!!)




Wednesday, September 26, 2012

IT... IS COMING!!!

THERE IS NO PLACE TO RUN!!! 
THERE IS NO PLACE TO HIDE!!!
NOWHERE IS SAFE!!!


Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Friday, September 21, 2012

"V" is for "Vamphibian"


Vamphibian

No. Enc.:  1d6 (2d8)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  90' (30')
     —Swim:  120' (40')
Armor Class:  5
Hit Dice:  2
Attacks:  1 (bite)
Damage:  1d4
Save:  L2
Morale:  8
Hoard Class:  VI
XP:  71

Vamphibians are diminutive, 2'-3' tall bipeds that lurk in ponds, streams, and assorted toxic pools.  They glide beneath the surface with their broad "fin-wings", then spring forth en masse to mob hapless prey. They doggedly waddle-hop after escaping victims.

Vamphibians inject a Class 11 anesthetizing neurotoxin with their bites, and can cling to, and scale, any surface with ease.

Never has a species of tiny, ferocious, bloodsucking, slimy freak been so adorable.

Mutations:  Aberrant Form (Gills / Lungs), Toxic Weapon (Venom)


Wednesday, September 19, 2012

"C" is for "Cottonball"


Cottonball

No. Enc.:  1 (1)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  120' (40')
Armor Class:  0
Hit Dice:  3
Attacks:  4d4 (bites)
Damage:  1d4 per attack, + poison
Save:  L2
Morale:  12
Hoard Class:  None
XP:  110

Cottonballs are fused collectives of dozens upon dozens of writhing aquatic serpents.  They are literally all mouths and tails, and locomote by "rolling" over the surface of bodies of water.  Intrusions into their territory are met with relentless aggression.

Each of a cottonball's bites injects a Class 4 poison.  The Mutant Lord need only make a single To Hit roll for the entire collective; a success automatically grants the 4d4 bite attacks.

A cottonball's low AC represents its sinuous agility and distinct lack of solidity.

Mutations:  Aberrant Form ("Aggregate Mass"), Toxic Weapon (Venom)


Tuesday, September 18, 2012

"S" is for "Splicesaur — Cytops"


Splicesaur Cytops  ("Eyesaur")

No. Enc.:  0 (2d6)
Alignment:  See Below
Movement:  120' (40')
Armor Class:  4
Hit Dice:  9
Attacks:  1 (gore)
Damage:  2d6
Save:  L9
Morale:  8
Hoard Class:  None
XP:  3,100

Bizarre by even splicesaur standards, the quadrupedal cytopses sport immense, bony frills housing a single eye 6' in diameter.  They plod along the savannas in search of scrub grasses and tubers, just blinking and chewing...blinking and chewing....

Cytopses Charge when threatened, or protecting their young.  They are never Surprised.

Cytopses are the most susceptible of all splicesaurs to the strange radiations of the Mutant Future.  Some attain sentience (with unique motivations, dispositions, and temperaments), and a corresponding suite of Mental Mutations.  They may even make arrangements to serve as mounts.

Mutations:  Aberrant Form ("All-Seeing Eye"), Increased Sense (Vision)


Monday, September 17, 2012

"S" is for "Splicesaur — Tyrammoth"


Splicesaur — Tyrammoth

No. Enc.:  0 (1d4)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  120' (40')
Armor Class:  4
Hit Dice:  20
Attacks:  2 or 1 (2 slaps, or 2 tusks, or 1 bite)
Damage:  1d12 / 1d12, or 2d8 / 2d8, or 4d12
Save:  L10
Morale:  11
Hoard Class:  VII (x3)
XP:  6,250

With flapping ears, enormous tusks, and flailing "trunk-arms", the mighty, lumbering tyrammoths are as freakish as they are terrifying.  They stalk herds of herbivorous mutants during the migratory season.

A tyrammoth's 20' long, sinuous, dripping snout-limbs evince amazing dexterity and strength, and can deftly manipulate even the smallest objects.  Each can attack a different target per round, and upon a successful strike, victims are grabbed and drawn to the mouth for automatic bite damage.  They also discharge  sprays of fluid in two 20' long, 15' wide cones that cause both Blindness and Paralysis for 1d4 rounds upon failed Saving Throws Versus Stun.  Tyrammoths can even trudge along the bottoms of waterways, using their trunks as snorkels.

Tyrammoths never forget...nor forgive.

The arctic-dwelling, blue-furred woolly tyrammoth possesses the Reflective Epidermis (Cold) Physical Mutation.

Mutations:  Aberrant Form ("Trunk-Limbs"), Toxic Weapon ("Mucosal Discharge")




Designer's Notes:  I've actually been sneezed on by an elephant.  It's as terrible as you'd imagine.

Friday, September 14, 2012

"S" is for "Splicesaur — Brakteryx"


Splicesaur — Brakteryx  ("Eclipsaur")

No. Enc.:  0 (1)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  120' (40')
        —Fly:  150' (50')
Armor Class:  6
Hit Dice:  27
Attacks:  1 (tail slap, or bite, or stomp, or flying crush)
Damage:  5d6, or 4d8, or 7d10, or 12d12
Save:  L12
Morale:  10
Hoard Class:  None
XP:  11,500

Exceeding 100' long and 50' tall, the gargantuan brakteryxes block out the sun as they soar overhead. They vary wildly in appearance, having the diverse colorations of Ancient parrots and toucans.

A brakteryx's crush attack can only be performed when the beast is airborne.  It acts as a Trample, gaining +4 To Hit...but it affects all targets in the 30' radius of its landing.

Rumors suggest that their massive nests are littered with artifacts and scrap wreckage.

Mutations:  Complete Wing Development




Thursday, September 13, 2012

"S" is for "Splicesaur — Paknychus"


Splicesaur — Paknychus  ("Headbanger")

No. Enc.:  0 (1d8)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  180' (60')
Armor Class:  3
Hit Dice:  5
Attacks:  1 or 3 (1 head-butt, or 2 claws, 1 bite)
Damage:  2d8, or 1d6 / 1d6 / 1d4
Save:  L3
Morale:  10
Hoard Class:  VII
XP:  950

The belligerent, man-sized paknychus (both singular and plural) are as renowned for their wicked claws as they are their crested, spiky, domed skulls.  They emit resonant bellows and tones through their crests that travel for miles.

In combat, a paknychus Charges headlong into its prey.  The target of a successful bash must make an Ability Check Versus STR or be sent flying 4d6 feet and rendered prone. Paknychus gain +3 To Hit with supplementary claw and bite attacks against prostrated victims.

They are immune to any and all called shots to the head.  

Paknychus literally settle all mating, dominance, and territorial disputes with their noggins.

Mutations: Increased Sense (Smell)




Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Mutant Most Mysterious

Alert!  A Field Guide To Doomsday ascertains anomalous—and altogether awesome—apocalyptic arthropods are afoot...AND ARMED.


Supplementary scoop soon, says secret source.  Stay sharp!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Mutants In The News — "Teach A Fish To Fish...." Edition




Per the BBC, researchers have demonstrated that sharks (in this case, lemon) learn from the behaviors of their fellows.  It's the first study to demonstrate social learning in any cartilaginous fish.

"The results showed that sharks working with trained partners could complete tasks more quickly and successfully."

There's a cool embedded video that shows the experiment.


I'm reminded of a National Geographic article from the mid-2000s about breakthroughs in great white shark studies, where scientists were tagging them with satellite trackers and such.  The neatest—and by "neatest", I mean "most absolutely terrifying"—thing was a little throwaway anecdote about how the sharks would stick their heads out of the water for extended periods of time, and just languidly...watch...as the scientists did their work.

Great whites would pop up.
And observe.
For extended periods.
Serene as you please.
Then sink back beneath the waves.
And then appear later.
Over and over and over again.

WHAT ARE THEY LEARNING?!!!  WHAT ARE THEY THINKING?!!!  GAHHHHHH!!!

"Z" is for "Zeromir"


Zeromir

No. Enc.:  2d4 (3d6)
Alignment:  Chaotic
Movement:  60' (20')
     —Swim:  120' (40')
Armor Class:  7
Hit Dice:  10
Attacks:  1 (bite, or Ancient ranged weapon)
Damage:  1d4, or by Ancient ranged weapon
Save:  L10
Morale:  8
Hoard Class:  XVI
XP:  6,600

Like most animal species granted sentience by strange radiations and exotic toxins, the despotic, acrimonious, 4' tall zeromir (both singular and plural) want nothing more than utter conquest of the Mutant Future...but they will content themselves with dominance of just the polar regions...for now.  They enslave the most dangerous and deadly beasts of the frigid wastes for their arctic armies.

Each zeromir possesses two hearts, which grant a +2 bonus to any given Saving Throw. They can also hold their breaths for 1 hour, making them immune to inhalants.

A zeromir can become so apoplectic with rage that its Mental Mutations backfire.

Mutations:  Ancestral Form, Empathy, Extra Parts (Hearts), Mental Phantasm, Mind Reflection (Defective) [D], Optic Emissions (Gamma Eyes), Reflective Epidermis (Cold), Vampiric Field


Saturday, September 8, 2012

"S" is for "Splicesaur — Strax"


Splicesaur Strax

No. Enc.:  0 (1d4)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  120' (40')
Armor Class:  0
Hit Dice:  11
Attacks:  1 (tail-slap, gore, or tongue-lash)
Damage:  2d8, or 4d6, or 1d6
Save:  L6
Morale:  9
Hoard Class:  None
XP:  3,600

The Ancients' attempts to resurrect prehistoric creatures usually met with spectacular failure, and spawned freakish hybrids never found in Nature...giving rise to the savage splicesaurs.


Straxes are 40' long, 12' high beasts with horned frills and snouts, bony plates, and spiked tails.  They hop across the contaminated plains feeding on grasses and shrubs, but they also use their long, sticky tongues to snag hanging fruit...or the occasional live morsel.

By making a springing leap, a strax can Charge or Trample [as per p. 57-58 of the Mutant Future Core Rules].  And any target hit by its 30' long tongue can be dragged into the beak for a free bite attack at 1d20 damage.  Man-sized or smaller targets are automatically Swallowed [p. 58] on a To Hit roll of 19-20, taking 2d10 damage per round until freed (or digested).

Mutations:  None


Wednesday, September 5, 2012

"S" is for "Scormingo"


Scormingo

No. Enc.:  1d4 (1d4)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  165' (55')
Armor Class:  4
Hit Dice:  5
Attacks:  4 (2 claws, 2 bites)
Damage:  1d8 / 1d8 / 1d6 / 1d12
Save:  L2
Morale:  9
Hoard Class:  VII
XP:  500

An unholy melange of chitin, feathers, beaks, and claws, the savage, 7' long scormingos can be found in all but the coldest climes.  Their high-pitched screeches and squawks are the stuff of nightmares.

Any time a scormingo successfully strikes with a claw attack, the follow-up bite attacks each gain +2 To Hit.

There is conjecture that scormingos and stinguins are somehow related.

Mutations:  Aberrant Form (Double-Beaked)