Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Mutants In The News — "I Have Waited 25 Years For This" Edition

Thanks to a pair of dino-and-corresponding-name-decorated pajamas, words like "tyrannosaurus" and "triceratops" and "stegosaurus" were amongst the very first utterances from my wee two-year-old mouth.  I've had a lifelong love of the big brutes, and tried to give those thunder lizards some attention on this here very blog.

And in 1988, Topps' Dinosaurs Attack! card series blew my mind.  They were gleefully gory and gorily gleeful, and totally hit all my monster / apocalypse / sci-fi buttons.  I knew of Mars Attacks! cards, but these had FREAKING DINOSAURS!

Belongs In The Louvre

"I know an old dino who swallowed a guy...."

The RPG You Never Knew You Wanted, Until Now:   Gammasaur World!!!

There was supposed to be a tie-in comic series, but only one issue ever saw print.  I've still got my copy, and always lamented there weren't more.







AWESOME.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Mutants In The News — "It's Like They Merged Dr. Zoidberg And Bender B. Rodriguez" Edition

According to the Associated Press, a surgical robot named da Vinci is under scrutiny for assorted problems and deaths, including "hit[ting] a patient in the face during a hysterectomy" and not "let[ting] go of tissue grasped during colorectal surgery".

Here's some pics of that li'l scamp.



Wow.  There is NOTHING about "Dr. Stab-bot, M.D." there that isn't terrifying.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Mutants In The News — "I Don't Wanna Grow Up, I'm A Toys-R-Us Kid...." Edition

I've made no secret about my love of the new Lego Chima sets, with their mutastic minifigures.  Those gator-tribe guys just tickle me pink, particularly Crug with his metal jaw and Crooler rockin' the ol' Raquel-in-furs look.


The resemblance is uncanny.


The great site Eurobricks brings us pics of the upcoming base for those reptilian rascals, The Croc Swamp Hideout.









It's like they think I'm made of money.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

"W" is for "Wrexus Wronghorn"


Wrexus Wronghorn

No. Enc.:  0 (1d20)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  150' (50')
Armor Class:  7
Hit Dice:  5
Attacks:  1 (gore or trample)
Damage:  2d8 or 2d10
Save:  L5
Morale:  8
Hoard Class:  None
XP:  800

Wronghorns are robust, speckled, 1.5-ton bovines that roam the Wrexus prairies, feeding on contaminated grasses and scrub.  Their multi-pronged racks of horns extend upwards of 10', tip to tip, and inject blistering acid that inflicts automatic Class 2 poison damage for 1d4 rounds after every gore attack.  

While normally quite docile, wronghorns Charge and Trample when threatened.

Female wronghorns are larger than the males, and each posseses a "crown" of extra iron-infused horns that discharge bolts of electricity [add +2 HD, Energy Ray (Electricity), and Reflective Epidermis (Electricity); XP:  2,540].  These metal growths are quite valuable, as they are melted down for weapons, armor, etc.

There are rumors that some wronghorns have attained sentience and evolved humanoid forms, and call themselves bevoids....

Mutations:  Increased Sense (Taste), Toxic Weapon (Acid)


Friday, April 12, 2013

I'm A River To My People. A Glowing, Radioactive River. Full Of Toxic Monstrosities.



Well, color me giddy.  (You can find that in your Crayola box between "Aflutter" and "Nervously Queasy".)

I'm not really sure what they're thinking, but those mad bikers of the apocalypse over at Skirmisher Publishing—you know, the deviants behind the best 99¢ you can spend on gaming PDFs, the snazzy Wisdom From The Wastelands—invited me to run The Ruins Of Woebrook at this year's Comicpalooza show.  Nifty!

And I'll be hosting a pre-game seminar (no, I can't believe I get to use that word, either) on how to make your very own mutant for the event.  Because if there's anything I've learned as a Mutant Lord, it's that the judicious application of random mutations make adventures shine.  You just never know when the ability to shapeshift into a man-sized worm that slithers through the dungeon's ruin's plumbing will come in handy.  (Yes, I've truly seen it happen...and it was as awesomely ridiculous as it sounds.)

The schedule's here for all the other snazzy games planned (sweet spermatazoa of Krakatoa...LOWLIFE!), but my timeslot is from 1pm-6pm on Saturday, May 25th.

If you're a local, come slang some dice...and if you're not, buy an airline ticket and come to Texas.  It'll be a hoot AND a holler!

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

The Guys Of Wrexus Are Upon You — Meet The Notorious B.O.T.!

The Nortorious B.O.T.  ("BIG*E")
Synthetic Superstar

NPC
Character Type:  Android
Alignment:  Neutral

Level:  6
Hit Points:  50
Armor Class:  3 (2+1)
Movement:  120' (40')

Abilities
STR:  14
DEX:  6
CON:  10
INT:  14
WIL:  16
CHA:  14


Modifiers
To Hit / Damage (Melee):  +1 (+3)
To Hit (Missile):  -1
AC:  +1
Technology Rolls:  +5%
Reaction Adjustment:  -1

Saving Throws
Energy Attacks:  13
Poison / Death:  10
Stun Attacks:  12
Radiation:  11

Implants (Mutations):  Energy Ray (Sonic), Killing Sphere, Toxic Weapon (8d6)

Attacks / Weapons / Abilities
)  2 attacks per round


) Warp-Field Sword (1d8+16, treats foe's armor as +2 AC worse)
) Energy Baton (2d6+15)

)  +2 damage in melee combat (Level Bonuses, factored in to Modifiers)
)  Immune To Poisons / Paralytics

)  Immune To Sense-Based Stun and Blinding Effects

Equipment

)  LazAb Armor (AC 2)
)  Android Repair Kit
)  2d10 Drugs / Chemicals / Medical Devices
)  A Loyal Cyborg Crew

XP:  73,400

Description
The Ancients were awash in mass-media-driven "celebrity culture", but the concept lost all meaning as anyone with an implant-cam and a cerebro-link instantaneously broadcasted their antics throughout the known worlds.  The Hollywood-Military complex couldn't profit from these "independent artists" the way they did in the glory days of contractually-bound entertainers, so The Powers That Be literally made celebrities of their own...or, more accurately, re-made them.  They cloned and robotized and digitized long-dead stars of stage, screen, song, and stadium into programmable, controllable cyber-chattel.

The Notorious B.O.T. (a.k.a. BIG*E) is one such construct, a portly fabricant as deadly with a rhyme as he is a blade.  He awoke angry and ambitious from the celebri-storage tanks beneath The Syn-Hell Pavilion (an accursed prison-slash-graveyard for Ancient artificial beings), and he's obsessed with reforging his musical empire.  Thanks to exhaustive data-chips on Ancient chemistry, The Notorious B.O.T. subsidizes his endeavors by dealing in rare pharmaceuticals.

In combat, BIG*E usually lumbers into melee, cutting down the weak and the wack alike.  He also manipulates deadly sonic waves (Energy Ray, Killing Sphere), and launches narcotic finger-syringes (Toxic Weapon) up to 30'.  Though he strives to maintain a pristine appearance, his synthe-skin is often battered and tattered from hard living.  BIG*E abhors primitive firearms, and single-mindedly attacks (Morale 12) anyone who points one his way.

Rumors suggest The Notorious B.O.T. is actively recruiting a gang of other revived MCs ("MusiConstructs"), which include such cryptic unit designations as O-D-B, SH0K-G, KRS-1, 2L-C00L-J, ICE³, FLAY-V, BZ-MRK*E, and 3R1C-B.  And he may have a bloodthirsty archenemy, a renegade sentient hologram called 2P4Q.



Monday, April 8, 2013

Thangs Are Afoot!

I've temporarily taken down The Ruins Of Woebrook locale.  Those of you who already downloaded it have a treasure, indeed!

No, there's nothing nefarious or lawyer-ific or unpleasant.  It's just that SECRET DOINGS are underway.

HOW MYSTERIOUS!!!


Sunday, April 7, 2013

The Guys Of Wrexus Are Upon You — Meet Exxon The Eternal!


Exxon Honda
Immortal Warlord and Unyielding Kingpin


NPC
Character Type:  Mutant Animal
Alignment:  Chaotic

Level:  5
Hit Points:  96
Armor Class:  5
Movement:  60' (30')

Abilities
STR:  19
DEX:  15
CON:  12
INT:  13
WIL:  17
CHA:  18

Modifiers
To Hit / Damage (Melee):  +1 / +4
To Hit (Missile):  -1
AC:  -1
Technology Rolls:  +5%
Reaction Adjustment:  -2

Saving Throws
Energy Attacks:  13
Poison / Death:  10
Stun Attacks:  12
Radiation:  11

Mutations:  Energy-Retaining Cell Structure, Epidermal Photosynthesis, Force Screen (Greater), Increased Physical Attribute (CON), Intellectual Affinity (Bartering), Mental Barrier, Vision Impairment [D]

Attacks / Weapons / Abilities

) 3 attacks per round

) Tusks (1d12+4)
) Axe (1d8+4)
) Laser Pistol Mk2 (6d6)
) Warp-Field Dagger (1d4+10, treats foe's AC as +2 worse)

Equipment

) Studded Leather Armor (AC 6)
) All The Money
) GOONS!
) An Entire City At His Disposal
) As-Needed Mobster Arsenal and Accoutrements

XP:  10,000

Description
Exxon Honda's been chopped, shot, stabbed, and blasted, but seemingly nothing can stop the 10' tall, semi-shaggy, half-ton-plus pachyder-man.  And losing both his right eye and left leg did little but piss him off.

Through brawn, drive, and seeming invincibility [thanks to that solar-healing and increased HP], Honda climbed the ranks of Gunspoint's organized crime...until violently claiming the throne for himself.    His army of enforcers, smugglers, scroungers, and assorted lowlifes serve his every whim.  Exxon Honda is Gunspoint, for all intents and purposes.

Honda's ruthless and brutal, but not without charm and a dark sense of humor.  He often takes a shine to his favorite employees, and offers them access to the finest munitions and equipment...but he also demands repayment for every discharged slug and expended energy charge (usually after the fact...and usually at rates that surpass salary agreements).  Many find that they can never escape their debts, and end up working for him forever....

While Honda tries to maintain a veneer of the utmost professionalism and practicality, he's been known to squash—literally—incompetent and problematic employees.  (You can tell when he's getting irritated, as his big ears start twitching.)  And Honda would move heaven and earth to get his trunk around the bony throat of rival crimelord Don Esqueleto, the translucent mutant who maimed him.

"By Honda's metal foot!" is a common epithet amongst Gunspoint's denizens.  It's just never said too loudly.


Designer's Notes:  In the campaign's very first adventure, I quickly needed a Wilson Fisk / Jabba The Hutt type to goad the PCs to action...and made up the name and description ("an elephant-dude with an eye-patch and prosthetic leg") on the fly.  But over the last few sessions, Honda's shadow over the characters grew larger, and it was high time to stat him up.

I randomly roll up my NPCs (3d6 in order, random mutations...if it's good for the players, it's good for the Mutant Lord), and I swear on a drum of toxic waste that the stats above are 110% legit.  Just look at that ridiculous STR and CHA (natural 18s!), 17 WIL, double HP, super-moolah skills, and awesome damage-dodging abilities.  Even the Reduced Vision Drawback paid off, due to that aforementioned patch at all.  And in making him Lvl 5, I randomly used the advancement chart, too...and earned a +1 STR, +1 INT, and +2 attacks per round in the process.

Beastly!  The PCs are going to HATE this guy, if they ever come to blows.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

"C" is for "Cinnaman"


Cinnaman  ("Cinnobite")

No. Enc.:  1d8 (4d6)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  18' (6')
Armor Class:  4
Hit Dice:  11
Attacks:  1 (fist, or trample, or weapon)
Damage:  1d4, or 3d6, or by weapon
Save:  L8
Morale:  8
Hoard Class:  XV
XP:  10,000

Cinnamen are rotund, sparsely-haired humanoids that stand 4’-5’ tall and measure twice as wide.  They are so blubbery, their genders are indeterminate.  Their pasty, doughy hides continually excrete a sticky glaze (Poison Class 6) that induces systemic shock with its hyper-absorptive super-sweetness.  Cinnamen only ingest mush and slurries, as their teeth rot away in infancy.  They are immune to all known diseases and toxins.

When a cinnaman successfully strikes with a fist attack, it adheres to its target; each round thereafter, it freely pummels with its other fist or melee weapon for automatic damage.  Those stuck must make an Ability Check Vs STR at a +2 penalty to escape.  Cinnamen also slam foes with their prodigious bulk, knocking them prone and Trampling (+4 To Hit).  Possessions crushed by the overweight onslaught are up to the Mutant Lord.

Evidence suggests that the cinnamen devolved into their current forms from decades of exposure to certain Ancient foodstuffs....

Mutations:  Accumulated Resistance (Radiation), Dermal Poison Slime, Obese (x2) [D], Metaconcert, Mind Thrust, Optic Emissions (Bright Eyes), Reduced Oxygen Efficiency [D], Reflective Epidermis (Cold, Electricity, Heat)





Saturday, March 30, 2013

Mutants In The News — "Two Superbugs Is One Too Many" Edition




While it hasn't been verified through proper scientific analysis, I think we can all agree on this:  

Mankind can barely handle one superbug going bananas at any given time.  But two?  We're DOOMED.



Oh, Dean Jones...why have you forsaken us?!!!

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Presenting...The First 'A Field Guide To Doomsday' Adventure Module!

When typing up my recap for Session #3 of our Don't Mess With Wrexus game, I kept doubling back and digressing and over-explaining things to give you readers a sense of what the hell was going on.  It was all about CONTEXT, MAN!

And then I figgered it'd be much easier to present the adventure itself, all purty-like, and then do the recap afterwards.

So here it is...THE RUINS OF WOEBROOK!!!


16 mindblowing pages of pure mindblowingness!!!

Graphics!!!

Maps!!!

And a brand new specie of beastie, never before seen!!!  The critter won't get solo posted for at least a week—get your first bonus glimpse, right in these very pages!!!


Download the PDF here, or look in documents section on the sidebar.

Having never written up a full-on adventure before, I'm kinda tickled by how it turned out...so if you don't mind, please tell me what you think.  Hope y'all enjoy it.

Monday, March 25, 2013

"V" is for "Vacuuvore"


Vacuuvore  ("Suckbug")

No. Enc.:  0 (1d3)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  0' (0')
        —Fly:  75' (25')
Armor Class:  4
Hit Dice:  22
Attacks:  1 (vacuum)
Damage:  See Below
Save:  L11
Morale:  10
Hoard Class:  XXII + 2d00 junk
XP:  13,000

Flying via "jets" attached to their abdomens, vacuuvores are glowing, bioengineered beasts as large as Ancient commercial airliners.  They were created to clean hazardous spills and floods, draw oxygen from raging fires, and collect mineral-laden dust from off-world surfaces.  They are utterly immune to all known diseases, toxins, and environmental conditions.

Vacuuvores cruise along about 100' off the ground, siphoning up all loose materials and liquids in a 150' radius.  Anyone thus sucked is deposited in a tank-like stomach, and buffeted and battered by flying debris for 1d12 damage per round.  The creatures tend to go on vacuuming binges lasting hours at a time....

When "full", vacuuvores excrete their inert payloads in convenient 15' x 15' solid bricks.  Their Hoard Class represents items chiseled from their leavings and/or contents of their stomachs.

Mutations:  Aberrant Form (Xenomorphism—"Vacuu-Tubes"), Epidermal Photosynthesis


Friday, March 22, 2013

Let's Go To Gamma World. Meet... The Menarl.

Menarl ("Slime Devil")

No. Enc.:  1d4 (1d4)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  75' (25')
  —Swim:  180' (60')
Armor Class:  6
Hit Dice:  14
Attacks:  1d6+1, 1d3, or 1 (fists, or weapons, or squeeze)
Damage:  1d8 per fist, or by weapons (melee +3d6), or 6d8
Save:  L14
Morale:  8
Hoard Class:  VII
XP:  3,300

Menarls are massive, 30' long serpentoids that favor aquatic environs.  Each possesses 2d6+4 burly, 3' long arms ending in dexterous hands.  Though highly aggressive, they are relatively friendly to Pure and Mutant Humans, and often work in their employ as mercenaries or guards.

Menarls can attack multiple targets each round, striking any and all targets adjacent to any part of their elongated bodies.  They favor low-tech weapons (clubs, spears, etc.), but can be trained in the use of Ancient armaments and artifacts.  Menarls' immense strength grants +3d6 damage with melee weapons.

Menarls prey on waterfowl, and go into a frenzy when encountering any type of avian...including Mutant Animals.  They ignore Morale in this crazed state, and attack until all birds in sight are dead.

Despite being seemingly related (which both races vehemently deny), menarls and manacondas are bitter enemies.

Mutations:  Increased Physical Attribute (Strength)



2nd & 3rd Edition

4th Edition

5th Edition
6th Edition



Not-The-Designer's Notes:  The Menarl first appeared in 1978 in the 1st edition of Gamma World, by James M. Ward and Gary Jaquet, and again in the 2nd edition of Gamma World from 1983, by Ward, Jaquet, and David James Ritchie.

Not-The-Designer's Notes Addendum:  The Menarl may just be the most illustrated of all Gamma World monsters.  Illustration by Larry Elmore from the 2e set.  The subsequent versions were by Newton Ewell or Mark Nelson (4e), Monte M. Moore (5e), and Claudio Pozas (6e).

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Radioactive Review — 'Wisdom From The Wastelands #17: Artifact Conditions'



Killing mutants and taking their super-sci-fi artifacts is part and parcel of post-apocalyptic gaming.  And watching players figger out how they work—if they work—can be great fun, if the gadgets are wonky and the PCs are clumsy.  [It can also be soul-crushingly tedious, if you've ever used the old Gamma World artifact flowcharts.  Ugh.]

But the Mutant Future Core Rules give short shrift to the artifact discovery process, providing only a tiny chart that ranks Conditions in descending order from 5 ("functional on a 1-19 on 1d20") to 0 ("nonfunctional").

There's no pizzazz...no razzamatazz...no Irving Cohen bouncy C.  And no way for Mutant Lords to unleash their inner sadist.

So thank The Great Reactor that author Chris Van Deelen gave us 5 pages of tabular mayhem for all your artifact needs!

The Primitive Firearms Ammo Chart provides options for duds, jams, and unexpected ignitions.

The Primitive Firearms Chart adds more jams, weakened parts, and "warped barrels" (which immediately conjured images of Bugs Bunny tying Elmer Fudd's shotgun into a pretzel).

The Advanced Melee Weapons Chart adds loose components, powers surges, and overloads.

The Power Sources Chart adds increased energy usage, damage to the artifacts themselves, and meltdowns.

The Foodstuffs Chart adds nutrion-lessness, poisonings, and bite-sized—and pissed—mini-mutants.

Each chart ends with results described in one awesome word:  CATASTROPHIC.  (And, gleefully, none of the above words like "ignitions" and "warped" and "overloads" and "meltdowns" actually count as "catastrophic".  Something worse than a meltdown? AWESOME.)


Rounding out the supplement is a page on repairing the above artifacts.  And as the Core Rules only dedicate a half-page to repairs (which are also marked "optional"), WFTW #17 outright doubles the useful content.


I've mentioned multiple times that I'm unabashedly a "less crunch, more fluff" critic.  But this crunch-a-licious material is Good Stuff, and it's got a place of honor in my Big Custom Mutant Lord Binder O' Majesty.

Buy it now, right here!

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

"M" is for "Moacca"


Moacca

No. Enc.:  0 (1d4)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  180' (60')
Armor Class:  7
Hit Dice:  4
Attacks:  2 (1 claw, 1 bite)
Damage:  1d8 / 2d6
Save:  L2 (or L4)
Morale:  8
Hoard Class:  None
XP:  135 (+55 per extra mutation below)

Moaccas are flightless, 10' tall birds that deftly stalk overgrown forests and jungles. They feed on the fruits and nuts of mutant plants and small(er) game...and sometimes supplement their diets with wayward adventurers.

Moacca eggs are highly prized, as hatchlings imprint on their caretakers and serve as loyal mounts.  A domesticated moacca can carry an adult humanoid rider (plus an additional 200 lbs of gear) without movement penalties.

15% of any given moaccas encountered are sentient, and capable of intelligent speech. Each possesses 1d3 beneficial Mental Mutations, and Saves as a Level 4 creature.  Such moaccas still make fine mounts, but their cynical, sarcastic, and snide demeanors tax even the most patient souls.

Mutations:  Gigantism



Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Instant Ruins

In my post-apoc games, I'm big on using a bombed-out, future-ified version of the players' Real World city of residence.  The group seem to get a HUUUUUGE kick out of it, as it makes the setting so much "closer to home"...and provides a meta incentive to explore the sandbox. You know, "I wanna see if my old high school's still standing!" kinda stuff.

Accordingly, local shopping malls make perfect dungeons / fortresses / lairs...and their maps and store directories are just a Google away.

Here's a few maps of authentic consumer meccas in the modern Houston area.  Just print 'em, change stores to taste, mutant-ify and high-tech 'em up...and viola!  Adventure!

Willowbrook Mall

Greenspoint Mall

Deerbrook Mall


The Woodlands Mall


A blown-out and greatly expanded Greenspoint Mall is the main campaign city, and The Willowbrook map above was the site of last weekend's crawl through the ruins.  Stay tuned for the recap!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

"T" is for "Thicket Phantom"


Thicket Phantom

No. Enc.:  1 (1)
Alignment:  Chaotic
Movement:  45' (15')
  —Fly:  240' (80')
Armor Class:  3
Hit Dice:  13
Attacks:  2 (claws)
Damage:  1d8 / 1d8
Save:  L13
Morale:  10
Hoard Class:  XVIII
XP:  8,700

Thicket phantoms are 10' tall entities (it's unclear if they're flesh-and-blood creatures, or robotic constructs) with bulbous, glowing eyes and spindly arms that end in razored claws. Their mirrored cloaks shimmer with uncanny luminescence.  Thicket phantoms haunt deep woods, jungles, and swamps, and move completely unmolested through even the most dangerous mutated flora.

Three times per day, a thicket phantom can discharge a 30' long, 20' wide cone of orange mist from its hands.  Those caught in the spray suffer the same effects as those of an Irritant Gas Grenade [per p. 119 of the Mutant Future Core Rules], but at double the duration. Thicket phantoms are immune to the effects of this gas, and seemingly all other chemicals/toxins.

To fly, a thicket phantom transforms into a 10' diameter sphere of crackling red energy.  Only Mental Attacks affect it in this state.

Mutations:  Control Light Waves, Empathy, Possession, Reflective Epidermis (Lasers/Light), Toxic Weapon ("Vile Vapor")


Saturday, March 9, 2013

Mutants In The News — "Goldilocks Is So Freakin' Screwed" Edition

Here's some more awful ursines from the fevered mind of mutant-maestro Ethan Nicholle.

These images are totally, 110% his, from his Bearmaggeddon archives.


Bearcrab

Bearadactyl


Hurm.  I should probably get around to statting up these cats for all our Mutant Future-y needs.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Like A Tumblr'ing Tumblr'weed

In the spirit of shamelessly ripping off the amazing collection of  He Who Is Known Only As Jay, I have a Tumblr.


I freely admit that I have no idea what I'm doing, so crossing fingers here.  I just needed a place to put all the nifty pics that give me campaign ideas.