DON'T MESS WITH WREXUS — A NEON LORDS OF THE TOXIC WASTELAND JOINT

 

In addition to that Umerica Masters Of The Universe game, got shanghaied into running Neon Lords Of The Toxic Wasteland on Tuesday nights!

We're four seshes in... take a gander here!!!

DON'T MESS WITH WREXUS -- FOUR HOSTESS OF THE APOCALYPSE

 

"And, LO!  The ocean turned to cream filling,
as from a Ho-Ho." — Desolation 16:3

"BY THE POWERTOOLS OF GORESKULL!!!"

 Here's some more DCC / Umerica / Aetherian dungeons (that also work perfectly for Neon Lords Of The Toxic Wasteland, Planet Motherfucker, and any other gonzocalypse).

Each has "toyetic playset features" and "accessories" to torment players.  And shoddiness is part of their charm!

THE CONQUERORS OF THE COSMOS™!!!

In recent years, I've switched from my beloved Mutant Future to Dungeon Crawl Classics.

And my favorite published setting / expansion is Umerica.  It's my kinda gonzocalypse.  Been playing steadily for over four years now.

I'm about to take the GM reins in my DCC group, and I'm using Aetheria as a setting.  (That's what those recent posts have been about, where silly brainstorms really took root.)

What's Aetheria, you ask?  It's serial-numbers-filed-off Masters Of The Universe via the Umerican apocalypse, with a dandy twist... that I'm going to completely bypass by starting after it's happened.

First Appearance Of All Thangs Aetheria!

I'm cranking up the jankiness of Aetheria even further, and really leaning into the "dollar store He-Man aesthetic".  Things are gonna get silly, y'all.

Cue 21^st-Century Filmation fanfare and symphonic soundtrack...

--

Planet Aetheria is rent asunder.

Rival nations of Nirvara of Mausolea lie in ruin.

THE CONQUERORS OF THE COSMOS™—iconic noble heroes and dastardly villains—are missing, obliterated... or worse.

And The Forces Of Good are primarily to blame.

--

Yes, the combined might of She-Ro (Vindicatrix Of Virtue and Daughter Of Blacksun The Liberator), Skulletox (Seventh Corpse-Born Son Of Skull-Or The Deceaseless), and interplanetary despot Lord Vespero Necronox (Evil Overlord Of Evil) revealed Aetheria's darkest secret:

Castle Oldskull, renowned bastion of all that is moral and decent, was in actuality a parasitic entity leeching the magical lifeforces of the populace to maintain an unrighteous status quo.

And, LO!!!  A mighty battle between Light, Darkness, and Everything In-Between raged...

...wreaking techno-sorcerous havoc and freakishly bending Reality As Was Known.

Now you—​perhaps the last remaining Aetherians (and lowly ones, at that)—find ​yourselves amongst the warpwastes to forge your own paths.

Where once stood only Castle Oldskull, bizarre new structures loom, resplendent with artifacts magical and mechanical guarded by robo-witches, spookborgs, all manner of abominations... and worse.

The worldwreck awaits.

Long live Aetheria!

LONG LIVE THE CONQUERORS OF THE COSMOS™!!!

DON'T MESS WITH WREXUS -- CASTLE JIVESKULL

 

DARE YOU DANCE INTO
DISCTERIO'S DREAD DISCO DEMENSE?!!!

NOW WITH RAMPANT ROLLER ACTION!!!

DON'T MESS WITH WREXUS -- DISCTERIO

 

"DANCE, SPIDER-HE-MAN, DANCE!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Don't Mess With Wrexus – "Overheard In The Roadhouse"

(Cross-posted from here.) 

1)  "It's almost cannibal-mutant breeding season.  Yeah, the bounties are higher than ever... but, brother, probably best to stay out of the hills entirely."

2)  "Presley's Chicken Tomb is opening a new franchise down the way.  That's sure to righteously piss off the owners of this fine establishment."

3)  "See the weird lights near Old Man Gutchel's place last night?  Could mean another saucer landing.  Wonder what'll happen to that crazy moonshiner's swill this time?"

4)  "Them zombies infestin' the Doom Mall are gittin' smarter.  Could'a swore ah seen 'em usin' utensils."

5)  "Speakin' a' zombies, think the contagion's spreadin'.  Undead gators and feral hogs wrecked a kegger down near the crick.  Man, it's bad enough if animals can now git the bug... but if they're workin' together, we're motherfucked."

6)  "Satan's Cerebrums are back in town.  Sure, those mad biker-scientists are assholes, but their brain-in-a-jar looks pretty boss, riding in the sidecar like that."

7)  "The sweet old werewolf couple over there?  Yeah, the gray ones, with the saggy jowls and fanged dentures?  They keep inviting me to swing-parties at the senior center.  I swear, one more drink, and I'm going for it."

8)  "The Belfry Boys are recruiting for a big job.  Even saying they'll convert those that survive.  Hell, yeah, I'd consider vampirism.  Wouldn't you?"

9)  "The Headless Hotrodsman is racing for pinks down at the haunted dragstrip.  And the rubes are lining up to take him on.  Just what the hell does he do with all those rides he wins, anyway?"

10)  "Get this:  ALL the scarecrows in the county are turning up pregnant.  Yes, pregnant.  Well, what else would you call it?  One day they're hanging there as limp and lifeless as you please, and the next they're bloated and swollen and... and... and beaming, okay?  They're smiling... have a glow about 'em.  YES, EVEN THE DUDE ONES.  Fuck you, dicklips.  Why would I make that up?"

The Guys Of Wrexus Are Upon You — Meet Karl Kongchak, Mutagenic Muckraker!

 

Karl Kongchak

Even the post-apocalypse needs a rumpled, cantankerous crusader who's a perpetual thorn in the sides of The Powers That Be.

Karl can flip from charming to snide in a heartbeat, and wields sarcasm like a razor.  His cleverness is outmatched only by survival skills--he's zippier than an irradiated cockroach and luckier than a three-legged leprechaun.

Umerica Unleashes... THE JUJUBEAMER!!!

Silverscreen procured this from an Aetherian [think "dollar store MOTU"] arms dealer.  Generated via the Umerica Unnatural's "Cache Of Astonishing Salvage -- Rayguns" chart.

The randomly rolled results were the perfect blend of bonkers and thematic, so I christened it with the first thing that popped into my head....

Angled View

THE JUJUBEAMER!!!

Damage:  3d6, Photonic -- 50% chance blasts ignore physical armor (ignores all non-Impervious armor and Impervious armor only counts at ½ value)

Weird Damage:  DC 13 check to avoid instant death via goo-ification!  Turns 'em into li'l chewy gummies!

Range:  50’ long x 10’ wide cone

Ammo:  11 shots, Atomic Battery – fully recharges in 10 mins

Special Ability:  Targeter – adds +1d3 to all attack rolls

GM-Mandated Defect:  Electron-Restrictor Security Feature – can only be wielded 10 minutes (1 Turn ) before requiring a FORT Save at DC 12, with failure indicating user can’t hold gun or anything else for 1d5 mins

Quality:  Good

Rear View (with Targeter)

Side View

Angled View

What A Foe Sees!

Umerica Unleashes... SILVERSCREEN!!!

Here's my current DCC Umerica character rejiggered from various Transmorphotronobotic games that never got off the ground.  Consider him extra-jankified to fit into the apocalypse proper.

—

On his home planet, Silverscreen was a curmudgeonly antiquarian, archivist, and amateur holographic-arts critic [think Doc "Bones" McEbert].

Then came "The Incident", where his scoutcraft crashed on a primitive, desert backwater one fateful July night in 1947.  He hid from local law and military forces in a run-down drive-in, and stayed there for decades learning about his environs through the lens of B-movies and classroom scare films.  Armageddon led him to coming out of the literal (storage) closet to a ruined world.

(art by me)

Page 1

Page 2

"The Incident"

Alt-Mode!

Reel Hatchet!

Film Canister Battle-Tote!

(commission by Jacob Blackmon)

CAMP BLOOD -- WATERLOGGED

  

It was here at Camp Karankawa, some twenty-five years ago on a night just like this, when a devastating boating accident took the life of a young camp counselor.

The site stayed open, but tragedy struck over... and over... and over again across the decades, ultimately forcing closure for a few seasons.

But now, in the summer of 1980, Camp Karankawa reopens for a new generation of rambunctious, rowdy, randy reprobates...

...AND A TIDAL WAVE OF GORE WILL DELUGE THEM ALL!!!

--

Yeah, this is pretty much outside this here blog's general theme, but I'm in a "Halloween In July" mood, and have ideas for a post-apocalyptic "extended Slasherverse" Umerica / Planet Motherfucker campaign..

Accordingly, just started a game of Camp Blood (a Bloat Games joint) for a new group of folks, and went down a rabbit hole to make it as cinematic as possible.  Here's the campaign poster, and here's the link to its "IMDB page".

Follow along as the havoc unfolds!

"S" is for "Sneakstank"

Here's another collaborative beastie arising from our Umerica group.  Each player rolled on the ol' mutations chart from Maximum Mutagenesis (which is a danged snazzy tome), hence the resulting ridiculousness.

Sneakstank

Sneakstanks are roughly man-sized crabs (around 4'-5' tall, and about 6' wide) with bulbous eyes and scaly, reptilian limbs.  Their mouth-mandibles end in small manipulative claws.

Sneakstanks are cunning, and while certainly no geniuses, are intelligent enough to utilize any tech that fits in their "hands".  Like piratical gondoliers, they pole across the waters via "trashbergs" to plunder unassuming coastal communities.

Sneakstank:  INIT +3; ATK big pincer +5 melee (2d6), small pincer +5 melee (1d6); AC 10 (d5 Armor); HD 3; MV 20' or 60' swim; ACT 1d20 (big) and 1d16 (small); SP Abnormal Limbs, Aquatic Adaptation (Water Ambush), Gigantic Proportions (Huge Eyes), Queasy Emissions (Offensive Odor); SV Fort +4, Ref +0, Wil +2; AL N or C.

Abnormal Limbs:  lizard-like

Aquatic Adaptation (Water / Sand Ambush):  lies in wait under the surface of either water or sand, gaining a surprise attack against oblivious foes [must roll an Intelligence check at DC 15 to detect]. Successful surprise attacks are automatic critical hits.

Gigantic Proportions (Huge Eyes):  gains +10 to all visual perception checks; can see perfectly well in the dark; gains +2d to stare down an opponent.

Queasy Emissions (Offensive Odor):  exudes a foul miasma that induces retching to all within 100’.  Getting closer requires a WILL save at DC 14; failure indicates convulsive gaging, inflicting a -2d penalty to all actions while within 100’ of the creature.  A new save must be made each round for those who choose to remain near the crab. Failing three saves in a row will cause the person to effectively be "turned" (as Turn Unholy of the core DCC book, pg 96-97).

"P" Is For "Pizzly" (Or "B" Is For "Bobble Bear")

This unholy creation was a collaborative effort amongst my long-term Umerica group.

We're starting a new campaign in the ruins of Aleutian Alaska, and the worldbuilding naturally involves new beasties.  Player M picked "grizzly / polar bear" hybrid, and The GM had us each roll an ability on the amazing mutation charts.

Sooooo Much Better Than Standard
Mutant Crawl Classics Rules

Meet the resultant monstrosity! 

Pizzly (aka Bobble Bear) 

Pizzlies are enormous ursines with freakishly enlarged heads with corresponding brains. They can--and do--consume anything, but posses a particular fondness for petroleum products. These chemicals leach into the fur, resulting in a protective plasticine coating; a dead pizzly's hide can be fashioned into tools and armor.

Two tentacles sprout from a pizzly's backside, and are deft enough to manipulate weapons and objects.

Pizzly (aka Bobble Bear): INIT +5; ATK bite +8 melee bite (1d14+2), claw +8 melee (1d6), tentacle slap +8 melee (1d3); AC 13 [d5 Armor]; HD 5+3; MV 40'; ACT 2d20 & 2d16 (tentacles); SP Carapace Protection (Plastic Shell), Gigantic Proportions (Head), Heightened Attributes (Agility), True Omnivore, Xenomorphic Traits (Tentacles); SV Fort +7, Ref +3, Wil +3; AL N or C.

Carapace Protection (Candy-Colored Coating): covered in resistant plastic-like fur and nodules increasing Armor +2d; can be fashioned into wearable armor and other implements.

Gigantic Proportions (Big Head): +1d5 to all Intelligence checks (as raccoon / dolphin / ape) and bite damage by +2d.

Heightened Attributes (Increased Agility): +2d to all Agility checks and Reflex saves.

True Omnivore: gains sustenance from eating meat, plants, and any / all petroleum products. 

Xenomorphic Traits (Tentacles): multiple tentacles grow from the creature's body; can use as well as normal limbs (and actually better, as can manipulate objects!) and grants 2d16 action dice for the tentacle’s actions.